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How do you tame children who think they are wild monkeys? or how do you keep your peace when it seems like your house is falling down around you? Everyone is loud, running, fighting, the 2 year old discovered the scissors or some other tool of mass distruction, etc. and it seems like this is an every day occurence.
Is it possible to live a life that resembles Proverbs 31? How do you do it? What does Proverbs 31 look like in your life?
I keep hearing the idea of speaking God’s word over your life. What verses have you found to speak over your family and your life situations? Which verses have you found that encourage or energize you?
Hi Cindy,
My question has to do with my daughter. She’s my pioneer home-schooler and is in the 9th grade. She loves the Lord and her heart is pulling her to want to be a wife, mother and keeper of a home someday. She isn’t interested in some things that I know would be on a standardized test and I don’t see the point to touch on some things that she would otherwise just drudge through, like science, in depth. I was a math wiz and it came easily to me. It doesn’t for my daughter and so she would often end up in tears, so I decided to skip Algebra because with Pre Algebra I thought we were going to both pull our hair out lol. We are instead doing Consumer Math which to me is a more practical math, one that she will use every day. I took that and business math in high school. I didn’t take geometry, calculus, trig, or anything like that and I know I never used algebra since I took it in high school. So what’s my question? We’ve already decided to not be under an umbrella school as they are too rigid and I know that if she tried to do an SAT she may not do well based on what they teach the public school and what we are learning, so is it okay to just get evaluated every year by a teacher who can sit and talk with my child and “SEE” that she’s learning and growing instead of a test? We figured if she “needed” a diploma of some sort that a GED would suffice for that. I’d love to know your thoughts on this whole High School diploma, testing, evaluation thing. Did any of that make sense? There was a lot going on in the ol’ brain but I’m not sure if the question up there actually came out right!
Blessings to you!
Kim Wilson
I’m at the precarious place of one of my children being 18, but still at home and finishing up his senior year of hs. He’s an awesome young man, but he has this new attitude that there’s things he doesn’t “have” to do because he’s an adult now. He works at the movie theater at our local mall and management LOVES him. They tell him all the time he’s so polite and respectful and conscientious (he better be) about his work. They’re already wanting to groom him for a supervisor position. But at home, I pull my hair out trying to get him to just do his chores. I’m so careful not to deal with him like I did when he was younger. I approach him “as a man” and explain that character includes completing a task that needs to be done, and not letting people down that are depending on you to accomplish something. Any ideas on how to help him through this time of wanting to establish his own identity as an adult, yet still stay respectful and dependable to the family routines? Per dynamics of any family, the younger siblings are watching, and I’m sure, taking mental notes on what he “gets away with”. I want him to be part of setting an example for them — a good example. And I don’t want to destroy the awesome relationship that he and I have by being a shrew! 😉
Cheryl Scarlett
My most pressing question right now (and has been for a while!) is how do we as parents break the Generational Curse of sin that the bible says will be passed down to our children?
How do you help your precious children not experience the same horrible, horrible sins (that could eventually, potentially cost them their lives both Spiritually and Physically) that I and the rest of their family have experienced in the past?
I struggle with this, I have no idea where to start! I so want them to live victoriously, all the time not just eventually! I don’t just want them to “not depart from the way they should go when they are old”! I want them to walk in total freedom and victory from the sins of their fathers from now all the way through their lives!!! I also want for future generations to be blessed because their fore-fathers were HOLY MEN OF GOD!
So how can we interceed for our children in this area? How do we break those generational curses that rest on us as parents and on our children from all past generations?
There are some subjects I would like to have my children do together, for example, science and history readings. My older child is an on-task, let’s get it done type child and my younger one is……well, he just isn’t. It slows down the older one when she has to wait on the younger. I don’t want to have to listen to the same thing twice and I believe that they benefit learning some things together.
What have others done to make their “learning together” times work?
Julia Schlenker
Hello Cindy!
I don’t really have a question right now. I just wanted to take the time to share with you and the group about how I have been applying the lessons that I am learning from you and your friends.
I have always tried to create a schedule and stick to it. But it seemed so impossible, what with four children, one is a toddler and another a baby. This used to frustrate me to no end. I’m thinking to myself that I am already such a failure that I can’t make my family stick to the schedule that I created. Life was always getting in the way. Haha!
So I learned about routines and creating morning , afternoon, and after dinner routines. I’ve set about doing this and created a chart for my children and I to follow everyday. We’ve been at it for a week and a half now and I have to say that it’s really working! I thought my older kids would be resistant to the ideal, but knowing that I’ve set it up in a way that would earn prizes for them if they follow the routine, they’ve been very cooperative and enjoying it at the same time!
This week, I’m trying out our new homeschool and life routine. I’ve created my plans and schedules and have high hopes for us. I did promise myself not to stress out so much if we can’t follow it all. I just want us all to enjoy our learning and know that we are on this journey of life together.
The Lord is good and faithful to us. He gives us the desires of our hearts. Thank you, Cindy and to your family for your kind ministry to us! May the good Lord bless you more and more!
In our household, we are really struggling with obedience and respect issues. Some in my family say that I ‘let’ the kids treat me like a doormat at times. The disrespect spills over to each other as well.
My parents were polar opposites for discipline. Dad would explode and a good swat on the rear was typically involved when we were young. Then it became the time out chair facing the freezer (one sister spent several hours in time out as Dad sometimes takes things to extreme.) Mom would just ignore most things and then spend time in tears by herself. I’m in between my parents. I like some structure, but don’t want to stifle the kids with too much routine. I realize that each kid has their ‘poison’ as far as what punishment works best. My youngest is a real tough cookie and I have yet to find anything that will work for him.
With the youngest son entering the school routine, I am really challenged to getting them to complete work and not drag it out for the whole day as each takes turns complaining. It spills over into helping around the house as well.
Any suggestions beyond “expect them to do it and it will happen?”
I forgot to mention in my previous post that the boys are 5, 8 and 11.
Laura O’Neill (forgotten signature)
Well, my question right now is how to get most ANYTHING done with a newborn :). My littlest girl is 2 months old, then 2.5 then 5.5 and life is a bit crazy around here right now. Some days I just cry, there’s so much to do, and so little getting done.
Like Laura we’re also having some respect/behavioural issues – my oldest is very snappy with her mouth and can be quiet disrespectful :(.
How do you deal with the anger that your children see (experience) in other people? My dad is a very angry person. He always was when we were children and he still is. He takes his anger out by yelling at us when we were younger and my mom. I think that he still yells at my youngest brother. My oldest son (11) witnessed this today. He has seen my dad explode before and has even been on the receiving end of his tirads before. I have attempted to explain to him that his grandfather is just mad, not necessarily at him, but at the situation. I know that my dad loves us and his grandchildren, but at this point my son doesn’t want to be anywhere near him. My parents live across the field and my children enjoy spending time up there. I know that he is getting to be like I was….dreading when dad (or grandpa) comes home. I have prayed for my dad to change but while we are waiting for that, how can I help my children cope?
FWIW Confronting my dad is not something that I can do. I don’t think that my mom would do it either. My dh has done it and he and my father don’t really speak now…..my dh doesn’t attend family dinners, etc. So that isn’t going to work.
Thanks Cindy!
Blessings,
Carie Shinn
Hello Cindy! My question is this… What do you do if your husband disagrees on something that you strongly believe in? I know we shoud defer to our husbands and that we are to submit to them, but what if he thinks it is ok for your children to do something that you do not?
Also, luckily my husband agrees on homeschooling, in fact it was his idea, but what would you say to those who want to homeschool, but their husbands do not want them to? I have so many friends in this situation.
Another question on this topic is…What do you do if you tell your children they can not do something or that they are grounded or something like that, but then they go to their daddy and he say’s, Oh, it’s ok, you don’t have to be grounded, etc…
Is it better not to even make those decisions if you know they wont stick?
Thanks, Cindy.
Rodna James
Hi Cindy,
Do you have any advice for midlife issues like menopause and entering a new season of life with adult children?
Maryanne
Cindy,
I have an 8.5 yr old son (our oldest) that so amazes me with how thoughtful and discerning he is and I don’t do him near the justice I should as a mom. Sometimes he still acts like a little boy and frustrates me to no end but I’m beginning to see the young man in him as well. I know the upcoming years are a big transition for him and I know that how I respond to him and disciple him will need to change as he becomes more of a leader in his own right instead of following moms lead. I hope this is making sense. How do I distinguish between emerging leadership/ character qualities that he will need for his future family and rebellion of parental authority? I know that has to be a fine line. I don’t want to discourage leadership and encourage rebellion. Can you give some highlights or personal reflections as the mom of a now-grown wonderful young man who was once a 12,13,14,15 yr old?
Also, on the same topic, what if you feel things are ok for your kids but he doesn’t, for instance like reading certain books. For instance the book the Pilgrims Progress. i was going to get it for her (she is 11) and I was going to get the Little Pilgrims Progress at that, but he says she is too little. I try to just agree on these things, but we are getting to the point where she is getting older and needs to read some older books, although not inappropriate. it is the same with movies, etc… and i could even just go with it on these things but what about the more serious things/ Thanks again, Rodna James
Suzette, that is a great question! I look forward to the answer! Rodna
Cindy,
My question is What do you do when your husband supports the homeschool decision but is not involved in the least with it? He’s never questioned my calling to homeschool our daughter but I have to mention to him to atleast ask her about her school day, etc. when he comes home from work. Is there a way to inadvertantly get him more involved, I know he has knowledge to offer to her.
Carrie Clark
I need the advice of my Titus mentor here.
My oldest daughter, Abby, turns 10 this Saturday. She is so excited to be turning double digits. I can’t believe I’ve been a mother for almost a decade! So cool. I am so looking forward to older childhood with her and all the adventures ahead. That said, I’m already running into a sign of change that I’m not sure how to handle, so I’m seeking advice. My question: How do I know if her desire over the last month to stay up later is a sign of her changing needs or an attempt to push at the boundaries and see how far she can get me to bend?
More information: My husband and I have discussed this and prayed about it more than once and we cannot come to a firm agreement. He leans a bit toward sticking to the earlier time while I lean a bit toward giving her more freedom to choose her bedtime (within a couple of hours, not up until 2am or anything) but neither of us can really defend our leaning nor is it terribly strong. We need some beacons to show the way!! Both my husband and I are night people so it could be that gene emerging as she matures. She has started developing and hormones are definitely on the move. She does not seem to sleep late enough to offset the later bedtime, but does she just need less sleep right now?
I have two younger daughters – 8 and 2 1/2 – who definitely still need the earlier bedtime but the 8yo is a bit jealous when she discovers that Abby has stayed up without her, even if she was doing math or copywork at 10pm; this is part of my husband’s desire to stick with an earlier bedtime. We have had a few struggles with Abby trying to take too much authority with her sisters, so maybe she’s trying to take too much authority with her bedtime; or will adjusting bedtime take the pressure off of pushing in other areas? What signs did you see that told you it was time to give more freedom with bedtime? Help!?!
Bobbi Beeson
Hi Cindy,
I have a couple of questions.
I understand we should not keep switching math curriculum, because of the gaps it can leave.
But, what does a 10th grader do when he just hasn’t found the `right` one?
Either they are too hard, too easy, or they don’t explain very clearly how to work the problem.
Also, do you have any suggestions on how to pass the `baton` of Faith, so the child will be able to reach back and grab it?
Thanks,
Michelle Fitzgerald
My question is
“How do you ‘retreat’ and refresh yourself in the middle of the day?”
My husband’s schedule leaves me by myself with the kids at the most stressful times of the day. I do have routines worked into my day to help keep the chaos at bay, but some days I can feel my stress level rising and I KNOW that I need to “get away”. The evening hours seem to be the worse…I am tired, the kids are tired, and we have to do dinner, bath, etc. (with 4 kids, this is a busy time no matter how smoothly the routine goes) So, what do other’s do in those moments to keep on moving until the end of the day when the kids are in bed?
Laney
My 2nd question is:
“Does anyone have any tips for homeschooling in a small space?”
We live in a small 3 bedroom apartment with 4 kids. It can be a challenge to have a quiet space for the 9 and 8 yo to work on school assignments with a 4 and 2 yo running around. (they are directed and not allowed to run wild, it is just that our home is so small it feels as though we are all on top of each other throughout the day, my older boys really do better work when they have few distractions). I would love to know how others work with space limitations. Great tips for storing homeschool supplies would be great too.
Laney
I need perspective from someone at the other end of this homeschooling road.
I have six children, ages 10, 9, 5, 4, 2, and 4 months. We are LOVING hs-ing. We use Charlotte Mason/notebooking/ literature based learning and LOVE it.
However, I am “handicapped” in that I was an elementary classroom teacher for 11 years before coming home to teach my own children. Therefore, I have that “lesson planning” gene, and I am scared to death of my own plans. I feel like I am going to need a clone to get everything done.
I am realizing that teaching in the public schools was easier for me, because I only had to teach one math lesson per day, not six! And likewise for all the other subjects.
Right now I only have 4 “enrolled” in homeschool, but I am looking toward the day when I’ll be teaching high school calculus and 2nd grade math simultaneously. I’ll be teaching British Literature and Honors Composition and phonics! How am I going to do it all?
I am doing as much “grouping” as I can, but my kids are spread apart in age enough, that they really do need individual lessons on some subjects. How do you suggest long term goal setting in terms of laying out a course of study for my children that will be enriching for them but not draining for me?
How do I choose curriculum that will service ALL of our needs – mom included, and still maintain a rich learning environment for everyone. Most homeschoolers I talk to say “go buy textbooks for everything”, but that’s not where our love is. We enjoy our “living books” so much, we don’t want to give them up!
I guess I need hope and a vision that God will equip us to walk this road he has called us to with excellence and joy, and not overwhelming drudgery.
Looking forward to your wisdom!
Cheryl Rathke
Cindy, for example, I really need Kayleen to go to bed by 9:30 so she doesn’t sleep so late and be cranky but my husband lets her stay up later or if I say she has to go to bed early or can’t do something he will just undo it. I don’t know what to do. But I really do need her to go to bed earlier and don’t know know how to make it stick if he won’t follow through. Rodna
I was wondering if there is a program that anyone has used or made up that is used for children under preschooler age. My little boy loves to learn new things, he’s 13 months, and even as a teacher I can’t keep up with him to give him new things to learn it seems. Both his father and I are designated as gifted learners and I want to be able to give my son everything he needs to excell. Any ideas?
Thanks so much Gretchen Marie Morrison
Dear Cindy,
There are many many areas where we are told in the bible not to complain or grumble. But instead we are to be joyful, humble, thankful. I it is so hard to do this. I have found for me that making a thankful ness list and keeping it in my mommy binder has helped to remind me what I have thankful for during the times I really really want to feel sorry for myself and complain.
I’d like to know what helps other ladies to be thankful in hard times… and if they have a thankful ness list what is on their lists.
Thanks so much for all you do.
With Love in Christ
Angela
When your homeschool support group just doesn’t feel supportive (especially in the area of spiritual growth) do you keep going and trying to plant seeds in hopes of change? Or do you call it quits to focus that time and energy on something else?
What are some fun ways you have taught the Bible to your children? Also, do you just use the Bible to learn from or can you recommend any particular book or curriculum that you have used to aide in growing your children up in the Lord?
I loved the Mommy Homework question on Proverbs 31 and I’m itching to see one on Titus 2:3-5. How are we supposed to teach the younger women all of these things? I realize that living it out in our own lives is the best teacher for younger women both in and out of our immediate family. I’m sure that God intended for us to train our daughters up diligently to do these things. However, I often feel like I’m missing something that I should be doing. I see my grown adopted daughter and nieces living just so aimlessly with no direction when it comes to being a wife or mother and it saddens my heart. How do you see yourself fulfillingl Titus 2:3-5?
How do you keep your homeschool time fresh and not fall into the same routine over and over again? I often find myself in a school “rut” so to speak and that’s when God gives me a jolt – usually in the form of my kids wondering why we are doing the same old thing – and tells me to change things up a bit. I find this happens in my spiritual life as well. I would love to hear ideas to keep not only schooltime fresh, but also other areas of life (spiritual, emotional, relational, etc).
Does anyone else have a hard time getting started in a new study? I often find something “new” that totally excites me to learn about and that I really want to study more in depth with my kids (ages 11, 7, and 5) for example: The American Revolution!
So I rush to the library and check out tons of books about it, tons of videos, etc. When I get everything home and start looking through it all, I have such a hard time trying to figure out what to include and where to start that I end up just getting overwhelmed and eventually return the books and other resources to the library and never get around to actually teaching those things to my kids! None of us enjoy the “text book” approach to history. (Or any other subject honestly) But I don’t know how to “know” what to include in our own study!
I’d like to just be able to create a wonderful unit study about the subject, but I find I have too many choices and not enough experience in creating this type of thing. I’d love to know what you do, how do you choose what to include and what to leave out?
Thanks!
Rachel Flores
Hi, Cindy! I so appreciate your ministry . . . thanks for all you invest into us!
Here’s my question — at least one of them 😉 While on vacation, we stayed at a hotel that had an afternoon tea, and my kids LOVED it! 🙂 So, I really want to start having “tea time” with my two littles (they are 7 and 4). Did you have a tea time when Matthew and Elisabeth were little? If so, what did tea time at your home look like when your kids were younger? How do I get started? What is most important to keep in mind? How can I make it a special time that we look forward to without stressing me out? Do we have to do it every day? (I’d love it, but I know that life sometimes gets in the way!) Last, but certainly not least, what are some yummy special treats that we could make for that special time?
I really want to be purposeful about making memories with my children, and I know they would love this special time, but I don’t know where to get started! Please help!
Hi Cindy!!!
I was just checking out the past Mommy Homeworks and I was thinking I would love to know how people share the gospel and Good News in their Christmas Cards and letters. I know I have unsaved family that I like to send cards to and sometimes I don’t feel very creative or eloquent with my presentation in this all too important season.
I would love to hear how everyone else and you as well share Christ’s word during the Christmas season… without being too “in your face” so they aren’t turned off before they read it.
Thanks and have a blessed season.
In His Abounding Grace,
Jeniver Boyer