Wondering what Mommy Homework is??? Each week you will have an “assignment” here to share in our comments here on this site. You will love this-both sharing AND enjoying answers by others. Some of them, I compile into an ebook (contributors can resell as a product of their own–be sure to submit your email and full name when you register so I can credit you appropriately!).
The result is AWESOME!
We get to know each other…we are encouraged in our journey…and we glean super ideas from other great moms!
Ready for this week’s MH? This is a good one!
Our topic this week is “Love Dares for Your Daughters”
Your Assignment This Week…
Watched “Fireproof” yet? Fireproof is truly my most favorite movie EVER!
I love, love, love the “Love Dares” from the dad. In fact, if you don’t have the book, grab it! It is the very best marriage book out there!
Back to Mommy Homework…
Last week, we focused on “Love Dares for Our Daughters.” This week, I want to focus on really SAYING what we want for our daughters to KNOW as they grow into young adults–they are, you know! 🙂
This week, take some time to think about what you would like for your daughter to know about loving her husband. Give it some prayer time. Write it out. Then, share it here…AND, hand-write a letter to your daughter with YOUR “Love Dare” for her (a letter to your daughter, not a list of things you wish or ideas for US).
You may have a toddler before you. But, what do you want for her marriage some day? What do you want for her to remember when tough times hit? Write that “LOVE DARE” today…
Have fun! This should be a super assignment to read. I can’t wait! 
DIG IN!
I can’t wait!
Love ya!
Cindy
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Deadline–Friday at midnight CST.
My daughter(s) should love the Lord God with all her heart, with all her soul, with all her mind; knowing & understanding who she is IN CHRIST. She is valuable and precious to God the Father.
Loving her own husband as herself. Entering into marriage knowing it will be for life, divorce is not option. Love, honor, respect and submit to her own husband as unto the Lord. She should not gossip, slander, criticism, complaint or mock him; but bless him both privately and publicly. Daily quiet time, praying diligently for her husband, also praying with her husband. Let husband be the spiritual leadership of the family. Be quick to listen, granting him grace, forgiveness and mercy. But be slow to speak in anger or frustration.
Be thankful to God for your husband and be pleased with him. Appreciate all that he does for you. Giving praise and encouragement. Develop an interest in the things he is interested in, participate in hobbies he enjoys. Don’t leave him alone all the time, while you pursue your own pleasure, spending more time with girlfriends or church ministries then you do with your husband. Don’t steal his joy by complaining or moping. Don’t steal peace with nagging. Dress to please your own husband, modestly. Don’t look for other men’s approval. Don’t lie to your husband, but speak the truth in love, practice a quiet and gentle spirit.
Should not yearn/covet or be jealous for another woman’s husband, her children, her friends, her house, her decorating style, her garden, her looks, her wardrobe, her possessions, her talents and gifts, her ministry, or any other thing that is hers; but be pleased and well satisfied with all God has given to you, with a grateful heart.
~Marni Raney
Something we have already started with our daughters is a special birthday gathering when they turn 13. About a month or so before I ask those women who have been important in my daughters’ lives to write them a letter to encourage them in their Christian walk. I then put all the letters together in a scrapbook and present it to my daughter at the gathering. Dad and I say encouraging words to her and open it up to others as well. My eldest daughter received a really neat page from a close mentor that included a section on boys and relationships, and marriage.
I also take them away over night and we have a talk about what is important – they are the helper of their spouse. They are to encourage and follow him as he is the head of the house. They are to respect him and to love him. Do little things daily to show your love and respect. Don’t take it for granted that he knows.
Two of my three girls have already gone through this time and have really enjoyed it. My third daughter is really looking forward to her time next year.
Teresa
I have an almost 9 year old & a soon to be born DD. I would like for them to be able to practice unconditional love in their marriages. I want them to understand that submission does not equate to being a doormat, you discuss issues w/your dh but you dont try to fore your way. House cleaning is blessing your family. Laundry & dishes are a great time to pray for your family. Train the children young to help & to do so w/a giving heart. attitude is 90% of the job! Your DH is your first priority after God. Your children need to understand that you need alone time as a couple and then you can all enjoy family time. Do things w/your DH that he enjoys, even if you dont. You do not have to do it all the time but you do need to sometimes. you also need to make an effort to look good for him, this does not mean makeup and pearls necessarily. Find out what he thinks is beautiful about you or what will make him smile when he walks in the front door (you looking tired, ragged & weary wont do that) and try to look nice for him. Try to work around his schedule as much as you can. Love him with all your heart and pray for him daily!
~ Rachel Stevens
One thing I would want to share with my daughter is the pain it causes me to have an unsaved husband.
Not because he doesn’t attend church with me, study the bible or pray with me. But because of the absolute terror and horror of knowing that someone I love so much may have to face eternity in hell and that I would have to spend eternity with out him! It is like constantly watching your loved one stepping into the path of an oncoming express train and not quite being able to reach them to pull them back.
I became a Christian after I married and that is why I am unequally yoked. Of course I never give up hope that my darling will one day (and God willing soon) come to know Jesus and thereby come into relationship with his heavenly Father.
I would also want her to know that she can rely on Jesus to be her fulfilment so that she does not have to expect to get fulfilment from her husband – who after all is only human and liable to make mistakes – just like the rest of us.
A very big thing and something which takes a lot of getting used to is making him her number one (earthly) priority – not the kids, not the house and definitely not the friends – not even me (boo hoo lol)
She must also remember that her husband is not a mind reader – so she needs to learn to communicate with him.
She also needs to know that she is not a mind reader either and not assume that she knows what he wants or needs.
She needs to be prepared to compromise and constantly learn how her hubby ticks. He needs to be her new study assignment – study his needs, his likes and dislikes and his moods. When he is quiet or surly is it best to leave him alone or try to cheer him up – these are things that can only be learned through experience and only then if we pay attention to them.
Most of all just love him and love him and love him!!!!!!!!!!
Love and Blessings
Angela Marchington
Daughter,
At the beginning of marriage, it is difficult to imagine times of trial, distrust, or struggle. But trust me, they will come. After all, you are an imperfect human female marrying an imperfect human male. Sooner or later, one of you will (GASP!) make a mistake — even a big one. But always remember that God is bigger than the biggest mistake, the biggest fault, the biggest betrayal.
Here’s the good news. If you will dare to establish habits of love all during your marriage you will build a wall that will keep much harm at bay and be so much easier to rebuild when those bad times come along. So here are my dares:
While it is good to have friends and family to support you with prayer and love NEVER go to them about a problem before you go to your husband. Dare to seek God in prayer and then take whatever it is straight to your husband. In this way you’ll guard against making things seem bigger than they are, falling into gossip, or breaking trust. Your husband will feel respected and honored and he’ll be reassured that even when you are hurt you are guarding his reputation.
Dare to practice humility. When something seems so hugely wrong with your husband or his actions, prayerfully take it before God. Then, once you’ve gotten His council and had the edges taken off of your anger, take a good look at yourself. Is the real problem that you husband is holding a mirror up to something in yourself? Are you trying to take the speck out of his eye without first removing the plank from your own? Deal with that. Then, and only then, prayerfully go to your husband with a heart and mind willing to listen to him and tell him what is wrong. If he doesn’t see it and he’s truly wrong, don’t nag and hold to anger. Let God minister to you and pray for Him to minister to your husband. You’ll be amazed what God can work in your husband when you’re out of the way.
There will be more to tell you in future letters, but take this to heart for now. Study it, ask me questions. I pray I’ve lived this out before you, however imperfectly, so that you can build upon that foundation. I love you.
Bobbi Beeson
I’ve only got one daughter but she is very special and I enjoy watching her grow up.
1. I want her to realize that no matter what or how much she thinks she loves a man, that if he doesn’t love the Lord with all his heart, he isn’t for her.
2. God should always be number one.
3. Her husband should be next to God.
4. Her children next and
5. Then herself.
6. Watch how the man treats his mother, does he open the door for her; does he yell at her; does he help her around the house.
7. Is prayer a part of his life? Do you pray on your dates?
8. What is the his financial standing in life. Does he watch his pennies or just pull out the credit card?
9. Watch to see how he treats kids? If he can’t stand them around him, he won’t deal with having his own.
10. What does he enjoy doing in his spare time.
11. Be his best friend!
12. Don’t complain to your friends about your husbands faults.
13. Keep up on your personal devotions.
14. Encourage to have family devotions.
I am hoping to help my little girl to grow up to be the beautiful young woman that God would want her to be.
Thanks Cindy for getting us to think about these important areas in our lives.
Blessings,
Orilla Crider
i would like my daughter to know that loving her husband does not always come easy. Though I pray she marries a fine Christian man, he will not be flawless! We may have unachievable hopes for our husbands and forget that part of him that attracted us in the first place! Communication is so important in marriage and during that two way interaction we can share our desires or fears and disappointments. Praying for your husband is obviously important, but especially needful when he is making decisions for you and the family. Forgiveness even when you are not asked! Our husbands don’t always see every need we have, if possible we can bring it to their attention, but there are times when we must just go on and take our burden to our heavenly Father. I think of the song, “Go and Tell Jesus on Me,” that speaks of simply going the the Lord and “telling” on someone for their actions or lack thereof!
Tina K
I want my daughters to know that God must be first in their life, their marriage and their family. They must marry a man that has the same beliefs about many different things, not just God. My husband and I have a wonderful marriage and we put our children before us and our marriage. This isn’t for everyone, but for us, it works and has strengthened our marriage, but that is because we are in agreement on it. I want our daughters to stand strong in their faith and I pray that by the time they are ready to marry I have given them the Christian strength and morals needed to be a godly woman and a partner for her husband.
Thanks for the wonderful, thought provoking questions.
Shannon Depew
One of the big things I am learning lately that is important to keep in mind for any relationship-
Don’t view things from your perspective and assume that your view is the way things really are. Meaning if your dh says something don’t read into his words your meaning. If he does something for you don’t assume you know his motives. Your view of life is affected by so much of your past that taints your perspective. A lot of times you can let that get in the way of things and read into people an attitude or motive that just isn’t there. Take the time to look at things from their viewpoint, find out what really motivates them so that you can better understand their words and actions. So many times an offense is taken up when words are given an implied meaning by the hearer that the speaker never intended them to have.
Kate
Oh, there are so many things. I have made lots of mistakes in my life that I would love for my daughters to not have to experience.
I want them to know how to be quick to forgive. I don’t want them to carry from day to day the bad things that happen in their marriage. Because we all know that marriage is not perfect.
I also want them to know that miscommunications do happen. My husband and I have learned to stop and ask ourselves if the other person would really mean what we thought they just said. They love us, so would they really say something to hurt our feelings our did we misunderstand what they said. We stop and ask each other if we understood the other correctly. This has saved us on a lot of arguments.
I would want her to have a good attitude toward the daily chores that she will do for her husband. Try to view them as serving him and meeting his needs as God would want us to do.
I would also want her to understand how important that it is to work through life’s decisions with your husband.
Last, but surely not least, God is there to give you patience and to help forgive and not be disagreeable. He wants our marriages to last and He will help us in every step that we take!
Katrina
I would like to tell my daughter the things that I wish I had been taught as a young woman.
The first is that LOVE isn’t a feeling like all the storybooks, tv shows, and popular culture make it out to be. Love is an action-verb and it is a choice. There will be many days when you don’t *feel* like loving your husband. Those are the days that you need to take extra time to love on him. A marriage takes work to make it good and keep it lasting.
The second thing is to take time to take care of yourself. If you don’t take the time to fill your own cup up you will not be able to take care of anyone else. You can’t just run around doing for everyone without taking the time to take care of your needs. If you try, you will crash and burn.
The third thing is to stick to your priorities. Your relationship with God, taking care of your needs, your relationship with your husband, your relationship with your children, and then your job (homemaker, homeschooling, and/or whatever you are called to do). The other things that come along can’t hold a candle to those important relationships.
Forth, don’t worry about what other people think or say. If you are listening to God and your husband, you are on the right path. Just keep walking.
Finally, it will NEVER BE PERFECT! None of us are perfect. Only God is perfect. All we can do is bring our 5 loaves and 2 fish to Him and let Him make something beautiful out of our lives.