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Ready for this week’s MH? This is a good one!
Our topic this week is “Wedding MUSTS!”
Your Assignment This Week…
Guess what! We are planning a wedding around our house! I am soooo excited! This brings me to another personal request for Mommy Homework today.
Whitney (Matthew’s future bride) and I have been brainstorming ideas for their wedding. They have set the date (if you are in Alabama around that time–mark March 20, 2010 on your calendar!). Now, we are having fun brainstorming, planning, shopping, dreaming. I am in heaven! 🙂
We asked for fun ideas for wedding MUSTS on my Facebook. What a FUN discussion! Soooo, let’s continue the ideas HERE this week. We might just have a fun wedding idea book out of this one! 😉 Just share your favorite wedding ideas. What did you really enjoy? Anything creative that is a MUST? Any special moments/events that should be put on our calendar now? Any ideas that you have heard about that are too good to miss? Share, share, share!
(See pics of our wedding dress hunt HERE.)
This one should be very, very good! Can’t wait! 
Have fun! DIG IN!
Love ya!
Cindy
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Well, I have an idea for you Cindy! You are a talented seamstress, so this might be up your alley. At the wedding you could have each major grouping of guests (family groups, or tables) draw or write their prayers and wishes for the new couple onto a square piece of fabric with fabric crayons (the kind you set with an iron). Then after ironing for permanence these squares could be assembled into a quilt.
Don’t forget to have lots of dancing :).
Definitely videos it. Getting ready, the ceremony, pics, reception – all of it! Lots of candid pics, cams for everyone to take pics. At my sisters wedding the guys all gave a speech (they were all best men, they couldn’t pick just one!). They all also sang when the reception was almost over. Our videographer asked many people what their wishes were for us. He also asked Bill & I how we met and what our first impression was of each other and when we knew that the other was the one. He asked us these things separately while we were getting ready. Bill was staying at my neighbors house (his best man) before the wedding and I snuck out to see him but made him close his eyes and I asked him for a piece of gum 🙂 Make sure the ceremony is who they are. Oh, record the rehearsal too! My cousin had a lingerie party and even tried on all the lingerie for the guests to see (a bit odd but interesting). She also had a “regular” bridal shower as well.
The important this is to make it your own and enjoy yourselves!
Use the music that they really want. We had very untraditional music, to this day nearly 21 years later, I wouldn’t have changed our music. I only wish I had added a hymn for the congregation to sing, but nobody else liked that idea.
Make sure any little folks can follow directions and have them practice more than once.
Don’t eat all the left over cake while the couple is on their honeymoon. The frozen topper just isn’t the same.
Video from the front rather from the back.
Bridal party members need to chosen with care. Chose those who will be part of your lives in the years to come, not just in the here and now.
~Marni
This is a simple one…but at my niece’s recent wedding, the flower girl sported a ‘kissing ball’ flower arrangement with a looped carrying ribbon instead of the traditional nosegay type. It was beautiful!
Also, there was a slideshow playing at the reception that featured photos of the bride and groom as children on up to engagement.
And one more…have disposable cameras on the tables at the reception and have guests snapping random photos. You get some very interesting (and sometimes awesome) results!! You definitely get some that the ‘official’ photographer won’t get.
Blessings,
Amy O.
A thing I think would really touch the heart of a bride would be to have the groom read the proverb 31 woman passage to her as part of his speach. During which he could thank God for creating this woman just for him so that he could have full confidence in her and lack nothing of value. He could proclaim that he had found a wife of noble character who is worth far more than rubies.
What a lovely way this would be to speak out God’s word over your marriage
Love and Blessings
Angela Marchington
Make it personal- take the thing the bride and groom really like and somehow make it a part of the wedding celebration.
For me that was lemons! Yep, I have always liked lemons and have a collection of lemon items and we incorporated that into our wedding. For the dinner each place had a cute little baggy of lemon drops tied up really cute. We had frames (with lemons on them) with a picture of my husband and I seperately when we were babies and one together. We also opted for individual fruit tarts instead of a traditional wedding cake. We had a small wedding cake that we cut and took pictures with but served that at the gift opening the following day. The important thing that I share is- make it your own. If there is something you’d like to do, go with it, even if it’s not traditional.
When my little sister got married in 2003 we set up the guest book as a scrapbook including their engagement photos. It was an awesome and personal guest book. Each page had a wallet photo in the center of a 7×7 scrapbook page, as guests arrived they were invited to sign the book around the photos. After the wedding we added a few very personal photos to the back.
Another fun guest book idea was back in 1999 when a dear high school friend of our got married. She had her engagement photo enlarged and put on a postersized board that became the “guest book” now, 10 years later (wow it has been that long) she still has that precious memory framed and hanging on the wall.
Make sure that the bride has “touched” every aspect of the wedding to make it hers. I love angels and when we got married I had my precious cherub figures and a special homemade angel (like a tree topper) placed around our wedding area (it was a backyard wedding…)
I could go on for hours about letting the bride handle as much as she needs to, to make it her own… I have had so many dear friends let people “handle” details for them and then are terribly disappointed later.
Another note, if you are getting a DJ for the reception talk to the DJ and let them know your likes and dislikes. My husband has DJ’d weddings and always asks the bride and groom for their input..
I agree with others that said to make it personal to the bride and groom. We had many things that weren’t “traditional”, but were “us”. For example, we led worship together to begin our wedding — right after my father gave me away. And once we began worshipping, all the nervousness went away! 😉
Also, in addition to our pastor speaking at our wedding, we asked two men who had been mentors in our lives to speak as well. My husband’s mentor spoke to me about Brent, and the man who was like a spiritual dad to me spoke to Brent about me. And then after that, the three men laid their hands on us and prayed over us.
Another fun thing we did is that I surprised my husband by singing to him during the wedding. He knew the song (it was special to us), but he didn’t know that I was going to sing it to him 🙂
The most, most, most important thing — have so much fun and make sweet memories (I’ve learned that from you 😉 )
One of the things that I love about those that are serving the country is a beautiful military style wedding. I could just picture Matthew in his dress outfit for the wedding. Of course, make it yours!
We had a saying in our family and the day of the wedding we made our own “tradition”. My oldest brother started it after being sick of hearing that he had to do certain things because it was “tradition”. So that morning, we took clay pigeons and wrote the name of the bride and groom on them and then the word “tradition” and they shot tradition to pieces.
Take plenty of pictures. Personally I love the non professional pictures because they have more natural look and more fun to them. Also video tape it. You really don’t know what your wedding was totally like and it is so much fun to go back and watch it afterwards.
I don’t care for candelabra’s so we made our own. Ours was two great big hearts with one big candle. They were made from wood and covered with some of my dress material.
With Whitney’s ability to sing, have her to sing to Matthew during the ceremony. This was the most special part of the whole ceremony for us, when we sang our pledge to each other.
Take the pictures that you can of the two separate before the ceremony so that people don’t have to wait around so long. Also have a slide show in the reception area that people can watch of the two growing up and then coming together.
Something for the rehearsal is two not get over practiced. Believe me something isn’t going to go perfect no matter how much you practice and all it does is frustrate the bride. Have fun and enjoy everyone. Instead of going to an expensive place to eat, have a picnic, finger foods or something simple so you can enjoy. One last thing, let the couple sneak out on one last date before their wedding, this is a very special memory.
The one thing that I tell those close to me is, make it the wedding that you want and not everyone else. This is your day and one that you won’t be repeating and you will want to remember it forever.
Congratulation Matthew and Whitney we are so happy for you!
Orilla Crider
We kept it simple. We are able to enjoy the wedding so much and visit with our guests without running around doing too many things at the reception.
We also had a special box that we kept things in that we would want to look back on. I saved the current issue of “Modern Brides” magazine so that one day I would look back and be able to see the styles at the time we married. After 12 years, I have already enjoyed looking back at that. We also saved some of the silk flowers that were used at the wedding, ribbon, and other things that might be special to my girls one day.
We also put together a special photo album. Each year on our anniversary, we get it back out and walk down memory lane. We had a friend take pictures for us and the wedding was outside. The pictures are simple and fun, our personalities. Make the wedding fit Matthew and Whitney, not what society says is proper. They will enjoy it more and feel like it really was “their wedding”.
After the reception, we did not rush off for a honeymoon. We had guests that had come a long way for the wedding and we wanted to visit with them. We changed into comfy clothes and all went out to dinner. I will never regret that. These people were special to us and you only get so much time to visit during a time like that. We have enjoyed plenty of time to ourselves since then.
These are just some things we did that have made special memories for us. Help them to decide what they want. My mother had a yellow wedding because that was the “in” color at the time and it was not even close to her favorite color. They deserve to be happy with their wedding and be able to look back with the happiest of memories.
Congratulations!
Katrina Boatwright
One thing, if the reception is going to be long Whitney MUST have comfortable shoes to change into. You might get a pair of white Keds and doll them up with ribbons or sparkles, or she might prefer some comfy, pretty slippers. She’ll be in a much better mood at the end of the day if her feet aren’t killing her.
Also, skip the usual wedding food fare unless the bride and groom really love roast beef or chicken with generic sauce on it. Go with personal favorites or local yummies. I actually hunted down a reception hall that didn’t make me use their caterer so that we could have fun. We got married in Louisiana, NO WAY was I serving roast beef! LOL!
Also, appoint someone to block anyone who might bully the bride during the few days around the wedding if at all possible. Got a grumpy grandma who wants things her way? Someone needs to have a list of errands that she can “help” with. This person should not be the Maid of Honor or Best Man since they have enough duties that the bullies can slip by. I pray there are none of these in either side of the family, but I’ve seen them come out of the woodwork at several weddings and cause major headaches.
And I agree with the earlier suggestion of disposable cameras. We put them out on tables with a little card asking everyone to take a few pictures then pass the camera on. If they had a full camera, please put it in the baskets near the door. These were the best pictures we got and they really told the story of the wedding more personally than the professional ones.
Pre-wedding, have a pantry stocking party for the couple. For one of my friends, we made a pretty basket and asked each person to bring a favorite spice or condiment for the basket. They also were asked to bring a favorite recipe and some non-perishable requirement for making the recipe. The couple had a well stocked kitchen in their new home, some wonderful family recipes, and some nice pans and utensils that people chose to include. While they were on their honeymoon, her mom and grandmom put it all in the new home and stocked the freezer with frozen meals.
Oh yeah, plan for a basket of snack goodies for the bride and groom to take with them from the reception. If they are danced with, passed around, congratulated, photographed and clinked at every time they stand still at the reception they may not get a chance to eat much but that piece of cake for the photo. Do you want to risk sending them off on their wedding night with headaches from low blood sugar? Probably not.
Bobbi Beeson
We didn’t leave town that first night, since we had to drive all the way across country to the Pentagon, so we stayed in a really nice place nearby and the next night had dinner at my parents’ house with all the out of towners, etc. We looked at the photos and opened presents, and my brother, the musician, sang. It was actually fun to see everyone around a pizza box and open stuff together in a relaxed way AFTER all the formal stuff was over.
I used my mother’s wedding gown, so I spent the money on a REALLY pretty nightgown for the honeymoon.
Some folks these days are having pretty cupcakes instead of a cake…
Oh, yes, do make sure the couple gets to eat, and gets a basket to leave with – I went to one wedding where the planner failed to save any food and by the time the couple was done with those pesky photos, there was nothing for them to eat!
We did the flowers ourselves – I bought them at cost from a flower/veggie vendor, and he actually let me come to the wholesale flower market with him a couple days before the wedding. We refrigerated the flowers and I had my sister in law and her mother arrange them for me (they made my veil, too). We had 12 dozen roses for $124.00 – that was a very good deal!
I had my brother, the musician guy, record lots of nice classical music to be played during the reception – now I’d probably pick worship music, but it gave him something to contribute and set a nice atmosphere.
I have some simple thoughts…
…Enjoy your day, try not to be rushed by anyone!
… I have seen the wishing wells at the entry way for the wedding and friends and family throw in their “wish” if you will. This is also a nice place to hold cards and really keeps them safer than they would be on a gift table.
… How about a video message from bride & groom to one another!
My mom made little books for the guests to write encouraging words to my new husband and myself in. We so enjoy reading through those thoughts of our dear friends even now.
My mother made my dress and my sisters as well (they were the bridesmaids). After looking over the dresses in our price range, my mom decided she could do as well if not better. I was so glad, as I had asked her to make it from the start but she didn’t feel she would be able.
I made the flowers, my sister-in-law made our cake, my other sister-in-law sang, brothers were ushers, friends did the pictures and videos, and my students/friends of one of my sister’s served the snacks at the reception. It made for an inexpensive wedding as well as everyone feeling needed.
* Make it as enjoyable as possible.
* Include things that are personal to both the bride and groom – we incorporated some traditions from each others’ heritages.
* Remember any deceased family members important to either the bride or groom.
* We presented flowers to each of our mothers during the ceremony.
* If you have the time, do as much as possible yourself – we really enjoyed the personal touch this added: we made our own invitations, programs and favors.
* Do as many tastings as possible, make sure you get what you want to eat (don’t forget the vegetarians).
* Make sure you are very clear with all vendors – our photographer thought he was going to sit at a table like a guest and eat with the rest of us! We agreed to a meal, but had a special set up for all vendors, and he interrupted me during my reception to ask where he was to sit.
* Put pre-decorated scrapbook pages at a table with archival pens and stickers for guests to leave messages.
* With all these preparations, remember to take time to relax and re-group. Keep focused on the real reason for the day – joining together in union with God in love.
I know I am late on posting, but I did something during my wedding itself I wanted to share with you.
As my dad was walking me down the isle I stopped to hand my mom a white rose. As my husband and I walked down the isle at the end I handed my mother in law a white rose also. Someone before the wedding had told me this was a way of saying I love you to both mom, a special moment to share.
It is something simple but it said so much to both special ladies in my life.
I love our wedding photos that are of my hubby and I not in the typical poses. Our photographer was a good friend of ours from church. She covered the typical posed ones of various family members, etc. and suggested some that are more reflective of our personalities and interests. These are really precious to us now.
I have had the (unforunate ?) experience of marrying twice. The first wedding had all of the expected musts to please various family members expectations/requests. It was a beautiful wedding, but not much for our personalities. Not the right kind of memories–everyone was happy it just wasn’t ‘us’. The second time I married it was a very small personal wedding. My hubby and I took care of everything ourselves. We picked some flowers that remind us of the wildflowers from his property. We honored our grandparents and others of Godly influence by us reading scripture to them and their importance/influence to us. We didn’t have a lot of the extras and it still meant more to us because the few things were so special.
Whatever they choose, choose it for themselves not just because a distant relative says to 🙂
Blessings & fun in the planning!
Hillary in Indiana
Hi Cindy,
As we were looking at perhaps renewing our vows this year a few things came to mind. Some that we did at our original wedding.
(1) As you go up the Aile, stop and give the bride’s mom a hug and a rose.
(2) As you leave, stop and give the mom-in-love a rose
(3) Have several people take plenty of good pics.
(4) Be sure to get both digital & still pics.
(5) If your having an outside wedding, maybe you can use your churches chairs.
(6) Send out wedding invitations at least 8 weeks in advance.
(7) Have those invited send you a wonderful `easy` recipe idea.
(8) Have those invited write a recipe for a great marriage and give them to you.
(9) make a special wedding album of shower pics, wedding pics, first anniv. pics and first child pics.
(10) If you have a garden wedding, plan an indoors (or garage reception) in case of rain.
(11) keep your get-away vehicle locked & the keys with the Groom. LOL
(!2) During the reception have a special dance for the bride/groom, bride/he Dad, Bride/ her new father-in-love
Michelle Fitzgerald
should say special dance for Bride and her Dad.
Thanks,
Michelle
My musts:
1. Have someone run interferance for the bride the days preceding the wedding.
2. for bride & groom – have your wedding the way YOU want it. Not the way it “should” be, or “others” want it. We did this and too this day love every memory of our wedding.
Our biggest expenditure for our wedding was for our wedding rings – we figure those we will be wearing until the day we die – get the really good ones we want, and we did.
Trish Bevill
Thinking back to my own wedding, there are a few things I’m glad we did.
First, the Mass and reception were videorecorded. I didn’t start watching the video until a few years later. The videographer had gone around the reception getting well wishes and suggestions for a good marriage from friends and family. I broke down watching my Nana as she’d died just a year after our wedding. So, having her thoughts recorded without my knowing was extra special.
Secondly, I made a program for the Mass so the congregation could fully participate. Singing is NOT normal for many Catholics, so anything to encourage it is great. My mom heard several glowing comments from people attending that they really appreciated having that worship aid so they could participate.
Finally, the bride and groom should think about what really matters to them for the service and reception. I’m glad the deep South isn’t big on sit down dinners like up North where hubby and other family members are from. It saved us a lot of money having appetizers and desserts for a mid-afternoon reception compared to a sit down meal. I also loved the reception site – an old plantation in Eastern New Orleans (which, sadly, I think suffered a lot of damage during Katrina.) I didn’t feel compelled to spend a fortune on the reception for food upgrades and instead thought the setting was more important. The food was great (hot dishes were brought by servers passing through the crowd) and we appreciated having a special table of food set aside for the bridal party for while we took family photos.
Laura O’Neill
This is a simple one and may be one that already you have thought of. Go to Hobby Lobby or another craft store like that. Get the frame and mat for guests to sign in on. Lay out the mat on a nice, decorated table and get a very special pen (a very fine sharpie) and have guests sign the picture mat. It is really neat to have a black frame and white mat. Then have a black and white wedding photo done up to put in it.
I planned my baby sisters wedding and with them out of town mind you, that wasn’t the easiest thing to do but it went off great. Our concern was to give her a Cinderella wedding on the stepsister budget.lol. I did lots of researching through bridal magazines in the back and in the advertisment sections. I called the numbers and wrote for information from different companies and went to any websites listed when I could find any. We saved a lot of money as my sisters wedding appeared to have cost around 10,000. but it only cost us 3000. including the dress which was beautiful. It was originally 1500. and we got it for a little over 600. as it was discontinued. We wanted something different for the rice backs so we ordered the kit for making the birdseed roses and done it ourselves. Her theme was ocean so we went to the beach (we live in south La) and collected tons of pretty seashells and boiled and cleaned them and they were used as decorations on her cake which was done as a gift from a friend who does cakes, as well as on the tables along with the tiny fish bowls with bettas in them. We glued the shells around the bowls. and allowed guests to take a fish with them when they left. We rented a champagne fountain which we put punch in and I actually cooked chicken and sausage gumbo and shrimp gumbo, potato salad and had crackers on a buffet. I had a friend at a deli at that time and was able to order the chicken and sausage, at a bulk discount and potato salad and crackers was fairly inexpensive. We added some mints and nuts on the tables but not much as there is always so much left over. We found a site that had discounts on the throw away cameras in wedding prints, and also checked around locally for an individual photographer who would also arrange videoing. This was hundreds cheaper than more advertised wedding photographers and turned out beautifully and even luckier she also rented for a really nominal fee backdrops for the reception and did the set up and take down. So all in all so many ways to save money and have that special day to remember. I suggest going online, searching through the the classifieds in the bridal mags, asking friends if they have friends that do anything that you could use for the wedding, as well as family. Don’t be afraid to ask for discounts for bulk items you are buying or ordering. Oh and the wine goblets for the wedding party toast was purchased from the everythings a dollar store and I dressed them up with ribbons and flowers that matched the wedding flowers. The bride and grooms glasses were etched really pretty with a 5.00 kit from Michaels hobby store and looked expensive. So I hope some of these ideas and suggestions help out, I know my sisters appreciation really showed for all I did and though I was almost insane by the end, it was a lot of fun and such a bonding experience for us.