Wondering what Mommy Homework is??? Each week you will have an “assignment” here to share in our comments here on this site. You will love this-both sharing AND enjoying answers by others. Some of them, I compile into an ebook (contributors can resell as a product of their own–be sure to submit your email and full name when you register so I can credit you appropriately!).
The result is AWESOME!
We get to know each other…we are encouraged in our journey…and we glean super ideas from other great moms!
Ready for this week’s MH? This is going to be a good one!
I got a precious email this week from one of my mommy pals. She has been on my heart all week long. Well, let me share a snippet from her email with you…
The circumstances surrounding my family are about to put me in the crazy house and I don’t know who to talk to. WHAT DO I DO…? I HAVE RESOURCES GALORE BUT HAVE NO INTEREST BECAUSE OF ALL OF WHAT LIFE IS DEALING US. SOMETIMES I QUESTION MY FAITH AND ASK IS IT ALL REALLY WORTH IT.
I am working on a special issue of Homeschooling the Easy Way FOR HER (and anyone else who has this same question). BUT! I would LOVE to ask all of you to pull up your virtual chair, grab a cup of tea, and share your heart with this sweet friend. How about doing this for Mommy Homework this week? It is time to encourage a tired and weary mom!
So, what do you do when you are:
Teaching so many age groups from Pre-school to High School
You just find out your teenager is pregnant
Your husband is out of work
You are getting pressures to SCHOOL rather than follow your heart teaching your children
You are exhausted
Everything is going crazy around your house
Tough times just keep on hitting
You are teaching a child who is struggling (and wearing you out!)
On and on.
And, you are not sure that it is all even worth it.
I KNOW that you guys are MY SOURCE of encouragement. Can you help me share a word of encouragement to this precious friend? Can you share some PRACTICAL ideas that will help her in the midst of this tough, tough time?
I am looking forward to all of these! This will be super! Have fun! 
DIG IN!
Love ya!
Cindy
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I hunker down under the shadow of God’s wing. That may sound cliche but if I don’t deliberately spend extra time in God’s Word I get swept away in the storm. I also use praise and worship music to get my focus off of me and back onto God. And when needed I talk to a Godly friend that can encourage and speak hope back into my heart and mind. But GOD FIRST!!
Love ya!
Tara
GodsGirl710@insightbb.com
Oh my soul – I’ll just tell you right now I’m in the MIDDLE of tired and weary and TOUGH times. Like Tara said, the ONLY way to do more than barely survive is to “hunker” in God. It is THE only refuge – THE only source of strength. I could write a book on the stuff we’re going through right now (and probably will) but I have found several things that really pick me up when I’m knocked down and dragged around.
1. PRAISE & WORSHIP. Even if I can’t lift my own voice, I have been playing praise and worship 24/7 (even just low in the background) for almost 2 solid weeks. Sometimes I turn it up while I wash dishes or do other chores. Sometimes I can sing along – sometimes I can’t muster the strength – but just like I read this morning – music often leads the way to victory (just like God sent the musicians ahead of the children of Israel so many times!) Find songs that focus on GOD’S character – which never changes despite our circumstances and be encouraged.
2. SCRIPTURE. Not only have I been feeding on God’s Word daily, I’ve been printing Scripture and posting it throughout my house. I just find a passage, type it up (in a pretty font, cuz I like pretty), print it out, put it in a page protector and tape it up wherever I find a spot. Isaiah 53 & 54. Philippians. Colossians. Ephesians 6. Psalm 1. Whatever Scriptures meet you where you are – type & print, or copy out Scripture and post it throughout your house. You will be reminded regularly of God’s Word – AND our enemy can’t stand the Word of God. Fight them off with our ONLY offensive weapon: God’s Word!!!
3. PRAY. Now, maybe you don’t journal or write, but I’ll tell you what – take a look at Psalms and you will see examples of all of David’s emotions. He wrote about the good, the bad, the ugly – and throughout all of it, He called on God’s promises and trusted God’s character to see him through. Pray out on paper if you need to. Write out a favorite Psalm and then write a psalm of your own to God. Name your emotions and feelings and give them up to God. He can take it all.
4. REST. Cry yourself to sleep when you need to, and TAKE it easy. How do I know this? Cuz when I find myself resting calmly in Jesus emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, I find that I am weakened physically. It is essential to REST our physical bodies during times of stress. Take a bath or take a walk to reduce some stress. Drink some tea or warm milk at bedtime and REST.
Our God is a GREAT BIG GOD!!! He is so much bigger than any little thing we can wrap our brains around. He is our Abba Daddy, He is Faithful and True, He is Holy and Just, He is Stedfast and Strong. He is our Rock and our Redeemer. Life is hard – it is unpredictable. The ONLY sure thing is God. Even when our faith fails, He doesn’t. Even when we fall down, He is there to catch us. We have to rest in Him. He’s our only hope.
I have SOOOO been here, in those times you just don’t know if you care enough to make yourself sit down with your Bible to get in God’s word and when you do muster yourself to pray the words just seem to hit the ceiling and land with a thud. Here are a few things that usually can help me regain a bit of perspective and eventually help drag me into God’s shelter:
1) Worship music, even if I can’t get truly alone I can put worship music on while cleaning or cooking and often I’ll soon find myself singing along and my heart feels a little less tight.
2) Put God’s word on. I bought the Message on MP3 because it’s a translation that can speak to me even when I’m not terribly focused and clear. I’ll put it on in the background as much as I can during the day. No, it’s not the same as digging in with quiet and focus, but in tough times having God’s word spoken in the house seems to slowly work to change the spirit of my home and soothe my soul. God’s spirit truly moves through His word. This is medicine to a hurting heart and can minister when you just can’t make yourself do any more than turn it on.
3) Reach out. If you have a friend you can get together with for tea or coffee and pray, then make yourself do it. Tell your husband you know you need it to make it another day and ask him to kick your tail out the door. If that won’t work with the current circumstances, then send an email or make a call. Just tell them you’re at the end of your rope and need help tying a knot to hang on. Let a couple of people know that you need prayer and maybe a casserole for dinner.
Praise & worship music, loud & dance to it with the kids 🙂 Prayer (pleading) for strength, help & guidance. Hot bath or shower. Call my sister. Ask others for prayer, they don’t have to know the circumstances unless you want them to know. Rest. Accept help from others when offered, if you can trust them (this will depend on how they are helping. With the kids or meals or cleaning or whatnot). When you feel the resources are not what you need that is the time to bury yourself in Gods presence (like you are hiding under the comforter in your bed) and just seek Him.
Julie Knight here:
Dear sweet Mama,
Our 5 year old passed away 16 months ago. We took 6 months off of doing ‘proper’ lessons. We did basic stuff, then took last summer off totally except for reading aloud. We played, we prayed, we cried a lot. We are still not back to normal. Life takes on a new normal. Do not, I repeat do not ever feel like you can not finish unless you feel God has called you NOT to homeschool.
I sleep/nap when I can to stay awake when I need to be. that may not be an option.
Instrumental worship music helps as we don’t get distracted by the noisy words.
We talk about how we feel almost every day I let my children know that I am sad and missing their brother and that helps us all. My 8 yr old then feels its ok to share what he is mad or sad about. My toddler crawls in my lap for some reading time. The textbooks we learned are not important, the time together is, bonding and re-uniting our torn apart family.
There is still a very big hole in our family but it is healing ever so slowly. God is good even though sometimes the fog is so very thick and seems impossible to get through.
I can only share whats on my heart and give you my blog to visit. I share more of my feelings of grief on there. I talk to friends whenever I can to get it off my chest. Jesus hears about it every day in every kind of way too.
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/brendonknight
Wow! We are soooo there. Hanging on by toenails financially, husband out of work for months, then pumping what little cash we had into more school for him, living for the last year above a garage at my parents, parents aging.
What do I do?
When I simply cannot handle it, I stop (physically) in the midst of my chaos and, out loud, put it all in God’s hands. It sounds silly and the chaos doesn’t stop for me, but within seconds God has always taken care of my inability to handle it. I can’t say that He changed anything other than my falling apart.
Sometimes I stop everything and the kids and I get outside and go for a walk. Even if the weather is nasty.
My husband and I agreed that we cannot control when or if our house in another state sells, so we have to not worry and just leave it with God. He is the only one who can take care of it.
In 2008, Lorrie Flem spoke during the Homeschool Expo that you put on, Cindy. I am reminded of her talk every time I feel like I HAVE to get away. She reminded me that God doesn’t encourage us to put me first. I have been watching myself since I listened to her. When I think I have to get away, and succeed, I am almost never rejuvenated and wanting to dive back in to the chaos. I always want more ME time. When I refocus off of me and onto my children, my husband and most importantly, GOD, then I am refreshed and rejuvenated. I find my focus and purpose.
John 15: 1-8 Jesus says that He is the vine and we are the branches. He also says that if we are alive in Him, we will be pruned by God himself. I praise God that He continues to prune me.
God Bless,
Linda Sprague
When things are tough and I’m exhausted around here, it helps if I can get a little time to myself. After all I’m an introvert and mother of 5, so I definitely need time alone to recharge. Sometimes I can take that time early in the morning or in the evening or weekend when my husband is at home. What I do in that time varies – sometimes I just need to sleep. Other times listening to an encouraging podcast or spending time in the Word and prayer is what I need. Sometimes I need to curl up and read a good book to just take some time away doing something different.
If I can’t get that alone time, sometimes just doing something different can help. Snuggle up with the kids and watch a movie, or nix “school” and play a game together. Let the little ones color pictures or paper dolls. Turn on that praise music – whoever wants to can sing along. Or do what we did today (provided the weather’s good) – spend a few hours at the park and call it P.E.!
Jenn Pearson
Well, you ladies are all so good!
When I am run down and cannot seem to cope, I write Cindy a whiny letter and she does a session or a huge article about it.
Sometimes it works just to spill it, but usually I have to wait for her to send me the solution!
Heather
Oh definitely worship music! Even in my times of depression, when I put on songs that exalt the Lord and remind me to lean on Him, it’s been such a blessing.
Then snuggle in with your family. Turn off the rest of the world. Get a cup of tea, curl up with the kids and a really good book, and just love on each other!
First of all, try to relax! You don’t need to add more to your plate by stressing about school. Flexibility is one of the best things about homeschool. Just because you aren’t teaching it “right this minute” doesn’t mean that your children aren’t going to learn it, whatever it is.
Next, delegate! I don’t necessarily mean to have other people teaching your children, but make sure you’re using the resources available to you. Send them to free programs at the library, church, scouts, anywhere they offer programs for children. Use internet programs and learning CD-Roms. There are many free programs on the net and you can get CD’s at the thrift store. Use public television and have the kids watch educational programming during the day.
Finally, don’t be afraid to ask for help. I’m often surprised how helpful and supportive others can be, whether family members, friends or church family. Sometimes just talking to someone or getting a little time for yourself can make all the difference.
I can also understand. My husband left his job in the fall of 2008 to start his own business. After about 6 months or so, it was becoming obvious that this was not going to work as we had hoped. He began searching to go back with a company as a “team-player” instead of an individual environmental consultant. This was in March os 2009 that he began to look and as of today, March 2010, we are still looking. We have grown so much through our trial, but we definitely both have days of hurt, confusion, discouragement, anger, etc. Thankfully for the most part, when I am down – he is up and vice versa.
Last year, my husband encouraged me to start the practice of reading through the Psalms. You start with whatever day it is and then read each 30th chapter after that. For example: Today is March 9th. You would read – Psalm 9, 39, 69, 99, 129. On the day you should read Psalm 119 – skip that and read Psalm 119 by itself on the months that have a Day 31.
I was amazed at how much the Psalms spoke of God’s steadfast love. I began to underline it over and over and over. I have kept prayer journals during this time and poured about my heart to God. Just in this one year alone, I believe I am now on journal #4.
Often as mommies, we want to “fix” everything because it is part of our nature that God has designed in us. We are the nurturers for our family. When we face trials like this, we can’t “fix” it instead we have to “leave” it at the feet of Jesus. Right now, that is where we are at. We are struggling why God has been silent. My husband has sent out so many resumes. His field is so specialized (he is a hydrogeologist) with about 15 years experience. Many of the jobs he applies for – he seems to match up exactly to what they list as requirements and still no calls. I guess we just aren’t getting passed H.R. – but more importantly we realize, God is just not opening that door for some reason. It has now been 4 months since his last interview and anything positive. I tell you dear sisters, some days I just want to scream. Because it isn’t anything at all that I can do about it.
So, then what can I do? I can go and run to my Savior and know that He is my Shepherd and I have to claim his word. But, I do have to say that for me, I tried to get back to doing school and refocusing on something other then my husband being without a job and questions like – “Are we going to lose everything?” It helped me to just stay on track. To “keep moving forward.” I am not saying at all that it is not important to take time off when you need to. We’ve done that as well. But for me, I was spending too much time focusing on something that I just needed to give to the Lord. There are still days of each week, that it creeps back in of “how much longer, Lord?” But God’s steadfast love has never forsaken us. He is right here with us each and every day – just run to Him and spend time with Him.
I also call a friend when I need to, listen to music, listen to Cindy’s programs, read books from the library or pick up a book, make list of things I’ve been wanting to do and I then try to start tackling those, and read with my children. Maybe do something different for a week in our homeschooling.
It was wise of you to seek out help and encouragement. That is what we are all here for and my prayer is that you will find comfort and rest. I like what the Bible says about trials and sufferings in James 1 and also Romans 5. They are to give perseverance, character and hope. I like that – hope in the Lord today.
Nancy Mosley
fletcher6@dishmail.net
Oh WOW, what great tips and helps!!! I’m like Heather though, write Cindy a whiny letter and she will get the word out for us, or refer us to a previous question or topic. I cannot tell you how many time I have been searching for something on Google and saw a reference to Cindy’s talks/chats!!! This may be long, but I want to share some of the things I did during our trial of 5 years, which Cindy knows about-yep more than 1 whiny letter from this fan!!!
Remember that we not only go through trials and tribulations, we also go through seasons. What worked last time, may not work this time. Turning to God will always work!!!
Right now for me personally I find that wordless music is more effective than songs. I listen to classical piano (contemporary with some praise mixed in) on my iTunes, it just helps calm and sooth me, and does not distract my kids from their studies.
I used to attack a project or a room, there was a time when physical cleaning coincided with spiritual ceaning. The last time I did that though I emptied out a closet and had an anxiety attack right there in the middle of the pile, cried for an hour, and what used to take 2 hours took me 2 weeks to finish. So now I simply put my blinders on and do just 15 minutes of a task, then another 15 minutes at another task, 1 more 15 minute task, and them a 15 minute break. I have found that I can handle 15 minutes. I don’t focus on the problems or situation, just the task at hand. When I have done 2 cycles of this, I find I am tired and can relax and can either focus on a solution or completely turn it over to God. I heard somewhere that one man had a grandmother that would moan and hum while she prayed and worked. She say “mmmm hmmm” and such instead of praying outloud while she ironed and did dishes, this man said everyone left her alone when she did this, they knew she was talking to to Lord and did not want satan or anyone else hearing what she was saying, either that or they though she had lost her mind. I tried it once, it worked.
This time of year is really tough too, we have been couped up and sometimes we have not had any sunshine for days and days. I have upped my vitamin D at my Mother-In-Law’s suggestions, boy what a difference. When we are outside in the sunshine our bodies manufacture vitamin D naturally, taking the extra does help for me, it seemed to sharpen my focus and chase away the blues, mind you I am not a doctor, and this may not work for you, but it was better than my other idea, hopping in a tanning bed.
Sending or taking the kids somewhere else is not really an option at our house, so I have communicated to my kids that there will be times when I say, go to your room or go outside, I need peace, and they have learned to respect that, maybe because they have seen what happens when I don’t get that peace-unfortunately. This is hard when they are younger and you don’t have friends and family close by who will take (or you really don’t want the ones that are close by to take) your kids for a couple of hours, or a husband who simply says snap our of it or his schedule will not allow for him to take the kids for a time, but this too will pass. I tried God Stops, 5 minutes here and there with a shut door and simply focusing on the Lord, or praying for friends and family, or the Talk-A-Latte gals, or a quick verse or two from scripture. For a season these God Stops were my saving grace, it was all I could grab with little kids and a demanding husband (not bashing, he will agree with this).
I don’t know the author of this awesome questions situation, but I can say that what we have been through here at the Neal house has been a tiral and on some levels VERY public. Some times I had to take it one day at a time, some days it was one hour at a time, and other days it was a moment by moment, focusing on each breath process. I have a wonderful devotional book that has 4-5 Psalms and 1 Proverb for each day, it helped to read the authors trials and tribulations and see the changes in their writings on a day to day basis. You don’t need a book for this, just read 5 Psalms a day until you get to 119, of course, on that day just read 119 and that dates corresponding Proverb, and from there on read 4 Psalms and each day read the corresponding dates Proverb, you can also get Proverbs on iTunes for free and put them on your MP3 player.
Lastly I want to offer a visial picture, Tara, the fist response mentioned hunkering down in the shadow of God’s wing. Jesus also mentioned how much he wanted to gather God’s children under the shadow of that wing. When Yellowstone Natinal Park burnt some 10-15 years ago, some foresters where walking and surveying the damage. Not only did they later find flowers and trees that had not grown there in over 100 years (the fire had to happen for the seeds to pop open) they found a chared body of a bird. Upon touching this body it discentagrated and some baby chicks came running out. The mother had gathered them under her wing and sacrificed herself so her babies could survive. This is what it is like hunkering down under God’s wings. One more note, the only thing that was touched in the fire with Shadrack, Meshack, and Abednigo were the ropes holding them in bondage, we should not be afraid of the fire, but when it does come, and it will, hunker down under God’s wing, and trust that Jesus is standing right beside us, interceding on our behalf the whole time. Remember to go through the fire and trial, don’t set up camp as I did, I even decorated my tent at camp pity, but I have pulled up stakes and am walking on to camp Victory one step at a time.
Boy, this is a good one. Sometimes, it seems like things just keep coming. I have several things that I try and usually it all works together.
I pray. Even if it is something simple, like “Lord, help me!” He hears our cries. God gives peace that is beyond our understanding. Then I start offering thanks. I know that God is with me and that He will give the grace to make it through.
I love music, so lots of times I turn on music and dance around if the mood strikes. The children join in singing and that brightens lots of situations.
I am a people person. I invite a friend over for a “normal’ night. We talk about the circumstances, just to get them out, and then we do something normal. Dinner and a round of games can do the trick. It is amazing how just not thinking about the other circumstances for a time can change your perspective on them.
I get out of the house. The garden is therapy for me. I plant something or cut back plants, whatever needs to be done. Fresh air and activity are good for me.
I cry. Sometimes, just getting out this emotion helps. Then I wipe the tears and decide how to go about tackling the problem. Sometimes, there really is nothing that can be done at that moment. There are lots of situations that you just have to wait out and pray through.
These are just a few things that I do. I appreciate the suggestions of others. I look forward to reading the rest of the comments posted here.
Sincerely,
Katrina
For my 19th birthday I received an engagement ring from a wonderful godly man. We made plans to marry about a year and a half later. We were given a cute little cottage by his grandparents and began planing our life together. We dreamed together of going on the mission field and impacting the world for Christ.
We saw each other only on the weekends as we lived 3 hours from each other. One weekend he left my parents house and never made it home. His car was side swiped and then pushed 100 ft. down the highway by an 18-wheeler. I spent the next 14 months instead of planning a wedding by his bedside seeing him each day struggle to surface from a coma. He never did!
While in the midst of this someone asked me, “How do you know when you are leaning on the Lord and not your own strength?”
My answer came so fast to my heart and mind I knew the Lord was right beside me. My response was, “You know when you are leaning on the Lord when your entire world has collapsed around you and you are still standing.”
There is no way I could have made it through without His Word!! His music has lifted me at times when the darkness has been so strong I couldn’t see in front of my face. His prayer!! He gave us this so we could talk with Him, let Him be our best friend.
There are times when all I could do was pray the prayer Jesus taught us in His Word. There are times that praying and reading His Word seem so hard and the praise music helps me as well.
He really is our answer!!! He really is our friend!! He really is our Father!!!
He NEVER leaves us!! He always loves us!!!
Rebecca Doty
Katrina is right, offer thanks. Even when you are litterally face down inhaling carpet and you cannot even lift your head off of the floor (been there, done that) offer praise and thanks. Some days the ony thing I could thank God for was hot and cold running water. It may sound trivial, but it started the transformation process. I did not feel thankful, I did not feel full of praise, but I mouthed the words, as empty as they felt and sounded, I mouthed them. Then I found things to truly be thankful for, a roof over my head, dishwashing liquid, food on the table, the birds singing, the ground dry enough to get outside and dig in the dirt (which I am currently praying for). God knows your heart, He will honor your praise.
Hi Ladies,
What a privilege to read all your testimonies and see the way God is working in each of us to restore His image. One of the things I have become very aware of over a number of years of facing difficult circumstances is that two things have the biggest influence over how I respond.
-My view of God and my understanding of what He has revealed about Himself and His plans for me.
-My willingness to “trust and Obey” as the old song puts it.
I guess that is why reading scriptures, meditating on them, listening to praise songs, sharing with godly friends, and pouring out our hearts to the Lord all make such a difference in difficult situations, because they all focus our attention on the Lord and His goodness, His love, His desire to see us grow in holiness and Christlikeness and HIs soveriegn control over all the things we are finding difficult. To know that God could change things but doesn’t leaves us with two alternatives. And for me this is where the “Trust and Obey” part comes in – I can believe He is good and that anything he allows me to go through is for my good and will refine me and allow me to reflect just a little more of His glory OR I can suspect He is not good, that this is more than I can bear and that He has left me alone in it etc. I find when I come to the Lord, humbly submitting to His hand in the situations I am in, and relying on him then I can have peace, even if I don’t always have a practical solution to the problem.
Of course, I was very encouraged last night as I prepared for our ladies’ study to note what humble submission to God’s will looked like for Jesus – He pleaded with God to take it away! He prayed for hours confessing His dread of what was to come and was obviously very emotional. And yet, when he came away from His time with the Lord, still facing exactly the same situation, He was able to do so in complete reliance and submission to His Father. Because He came to this point He was able to go to the cross and pay the price for the sins of all who the Father draws to Him. Wow! He fulfilled His purpose in this world fully because of His humble submission to the Lord. I am so aware that this does not describe me, but I am so excited that God is willing to keep working in me that I am willing to face the difficult times, in order to fulfill what ever it is God calls me to.
Now I just need to copy this so I can “preach” to myself next time the trials come. 🙂 Sorry this has been so long. God is just teaching me some good things at the moment!
May He bless you all though this discussion,
Ruth V
God is good all the time, all the time God is good! When the struggles of life are overwhelming and pressure push at you from every side it can be a struggle to see how God is good.
Think about Mary and Joseph. Imagine the pressure they would have felt knowing she was expecting a child. Not only the disgrace, embarrassment, and scrutiny of the situation, but this could have been punishable by death. God gave them strength to continue. This same strength Mary and Joseph had is available to us. God will help us to carry on.
Many times in the Bible people were at the end of their human strength and needed God’s strength to carry on. We CANNOT face the pressures of the world on our own. We need God to carry us through.
Find positive influences and surround yourself with them. Let God come into your heart and life and carry you through the rough spots.
Find a sunny place and soak in the rays of God’s sunshine. The sunshine is not only good for light and heat, but for rejuvenating your mind, heart, and body.
Play praise music or listen to uplifting and encouraging speakers. Keep your mind filled with God’s messages. It will help to push down negative messages. When Jesus was tempted by satan in Matthew 4:4 he said “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God”. We have God’s words in our Bible. Look up encouraging verses from the Bible. Find verses that ask God for wisdom, guidance, and strength. Pray those verses. Let God’s word be on your tongue throughout the day.
Write down at least one praise each day. It may be something small, but there will always be something you can thank God for each day.
Do something everyday to bring you closer to God. As you grow closer to God your problems and trails will begin to drift away. Life will not always be easy. We have trials in our lives to help us grow and become our very best.
When you have doubts or feel the world is against you read Psalm 73. God is there. He is always there. God is good all the time, all the time God is good!
In the words of Dory…Just Keep Swimming!
Ok, here is a little more depth!
A poem quoted by Elisabeth Elliot
Do The Next Thing
“At an old English parsonage down by the sea,
there came in the twilight a message to me.
Its quaint Saxon legend deeply engraven
that, as it seems to me, teaching from heaven.
And all through the hours the quiet words ring,
like a low inspiration, ‘Do the next thing.’
Many a questioning, many a fear,
many a doubt hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from heaven,
time, opportunity, guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrow, child of the King,
trust that with Jesus, do the next thing.
Do it immediately, do it with prayer,
do it reliantly, casting all care.
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand,
who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,
leave all resultings, do the next thing.
Looking to Jesus, ever serener,
working or suffering be thy demeanor,
in His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
the light of His countenance, be thy psalm.
Do the next thing.”
Monique
This is a WOW subject that everyone needs! Unfortunately the Devil is real and he doesn’t give up easily. One thing I remind myself over and over is that hard times aren’t just because I did something dumb or made the wrong decision. Yes, sometimes that can be the case but not always. I have to remember that as Job of old the Devil is still around and he is after our souls to try to keep us from the Lord. But as Job did long ago, cry out to THE ONE that does care and WILL help us through the dark times.
My wonderful hubby has a favorite saying around here “if the bottom just dropped out from under you, tie a knot in the rope above and hang on for dear life”. The bottom has dropped from under us time and again and even now it is dark but I love the poem and song “Foot prints in the Sand”. Even when we can’t see the Lord beside us helping us through those pitch black moments He is STILL there and instead of walking close to us He is carrying us!
As I have said before, music is dear to me. I wasn’t an A student in school but I learned to put music to my studies and I could remember things a lot easier. My mother used to say that she could tell if I was in a good mood, bad mood or just so so by the way I played my piano. Even now I will sit down and find myself either “ripping” the piano keys apart out of frustration or “tripping” along to a joyful sound or “rippling” along to a quiet soothing sound. Yes, music is where I turn to for all sorts of needs. I find that even during my lowest points God has a song just for me. A well known song in this family is “Tears are a Language God Understands”. When I can’t voice my thoughts to anyone and can’t even breath that voiced pray to my Heavenly Father I just sob but He knows my heart and what my tears mean.
During those darkest times I find myself turning to God more and even to His Word. We don’t have a local church to turn to for help so I can’t depend on friends and neither family has been there for us. Let me be honest here and say that at times the Word or crying out to God doesn’t give me the Peace I’m looking for. But I realize and remind myself at that point I have brought it to my Father and HE now is in charge of it, unless I take it away from Him.
My Grandmother used to say “have you put it on the alter – really put it there? If so, walk away and LEAVE it there, for ever.” I watched as a young child her carry the burden of her only daughter turning away from Him and teaching her children to hate God. But years after she died, I personally witnessed my name sake turning her life over to God two months before she was called home. No Grandma never saw her prayers answered here on earth but I can imagine the reunion above when she crossed over! This is not easy for me to do but until I leave it at His feet completely, I know He really doesn’t have complete control.
Another thing I do is to find a few minutes to sit down a read a book that is encouraging and uplifting. I find when I get frustrated and things just keep coming at my faster and faster that if I will take a few minutes here and there to relax a little it helps.
Another thing is Thank God. Thanks seems to be hard for some to do but I appreciate being thanked when I have done something for someone and so does He. Something that our family has tried to do is thank God even before he answers. For 7 years our family was split into because of our oldest child not being able to be apart of our family. For 7 yrs my husband and I thought there was never going to be an end to the hole in our heart and home. BUT we finally made the decision after depression for some time during that first year that we had no idea what was in store for us or our family but God did. We started thanking him for what He WAS going to do and 7 long years later our family has been reunited.
Something else that has helped me through those tough times and even now was that I asked our pastor (we worship online with a wonderful group) if I could mail get well cards to those in need. Guess what praying and writing those cards to the church family has not only brought us closer to the church, even though we have only met them once in person, but it has also helped to get my thoughts away from my problems 24/7. Now through out the day I will have one of those other people come to mind and pray for them and realize that we all have needs while we are here.
The poem “One Day Upon A Bus” comes to mind time and again. If we really look around someone else is a little worse off than we are. Yes, I ask the question why LOTS but I remember time and again even Christ prayed that the cup would be removed but He still went to the cross and died. And to think if only one person would have ever accepted His gift it wouldn’t have been in vain.
We are one great big family and we need to pray for each other. We haven’t made it to Heaven yet and even though we are Christians we live on earth where sin roams freely. BUT one day SOON all this will be over and “It Will Be Worth it ALL When We See Christ”.
Grab that robe by the knot and hang on!! God is closer than a husband, child or brother or parent and He loves us unconditionally. He WILL be there to see us through.
This is a subject that is very real to me because I too struggle but I’m talking to myself today. Hang on precious friends, the end of the tunnel is ahead and I pray that even today a little ray of sunlight will be seen by you.
Orilla Crider
So, what do you do when you are:
Teaching so many age groups from Pre-school to High School
*Try to see if you can include as many of the children as you can is the same subject as possible. Also,see if you can have the older ones teach some of the younger ones. Relax a little on the schooling by trying some new methods that may help simplify things.
You just find out your teenager is pregnant
*My oldest daughter is 12, so I haven’t had to go through this, but I was that teenager. I can tell you that there is nothing you can do to change it,so the best thing you can do is forgive and be as supportive as possible. I know it is hard, but you can not do anything about it now.So just show some mercy and love and be there,because there is no guarantee the father will be there or that anyone else in the family will be supportive. Love her and the new baby with the love that God would love her with and she will always remember how loving you were through this time when no one else was,and you will be showing her Christ’s love and this just may be what wins her over.Do not make her feel more guilty and worse than she already does.Show her an example of Christ’s forgiveness.
Your husband is out of work
*Trust that God has an ultimate plan for you and that He is in control and that nothing can happen to you that He doesn’t allow. He will work all thing together for the good for those that love Him.
You are getting pressures to SCHOOL rather than follow your heart teaching your children
You are exhausted
*Take a long bath if you can.I love it. If you have an older one,pay her to watch the younger ones for an hour,while you relax.
Everything is going crazy around your house
*Simplify your routine. Declutter as much as possible. The less stuff you have the less stress you will have.
Tough times just keep on hitting
*Remember that God is in control. You are not.Turn it over to Him and allow Him to work.
You are teaching a child who is struggling (and wearing you out!)
*Cut back a little on her work. Try shorter lessons, and even maybe another method or curriculum if needed.Try to take a little pressure off of her and let her have a little more fun and say into what she is learning.
And, you are not sure that it is all even worth it.
*Remember,it is always worth it. God would not have given you these children if you were not the perfect person to raise and train them. God doesn’t make mistakes. If mistakes are made,it is us who makes them,not God.
Wow! I feel like I’m struggling with many of those same things lately…and as the others have said, God is the only answer. I am not big enough to handle it all. I don’t have the full picture, as He does, and I cannot comprehend His plans for me. SO, more time in His word, in prayers, and in worship. I spend time wherever possible searching for scriptures that remind me of WHO He is and of who I am in Him, and WHOSE I am. I also spend time looking for resources that will be helpful to me in whatever area I’m struggling…homeschooling, I find homeschool helps; spiritually, I use the bible and other Godly authors to help me; physically, grieving, etc. I just pray and search for those resources. Ultimately, of course, resting in His word is the best answer and the greatest relief.
In my life lately, the struggle has been homeschooling many children, of varying ages, and trying not to get burned out…desiring to be ‘led by the Spirit’. The Lord has brought me many, many resources that are new or that I had forgotten about to remind of ways to be successful. It’s a learning process, as is all of life, and sometimes it’s hard to remember that. I pray that He will bring rest to you, help you to deal with whatever stresses you have in your life, and that He will restore your soul.
Wendy Woerner
I am there in the chaos right now and have no idea what to do … my house is a mess, homeschooling is a struggle, my husband keeps commenting that maybe it’s time to put them in public school … I feel like it’s me against them instead of us against the world. I don’t have a solution except just to pray, though right now it feels like my prayers are just bouncing off the ceiling …
Jennifer Neuman
What makes a tough day differs markedly from one mom and household to the next because God made each of us unique. Likewise each family with its interconnected web of relationships is unique.
So how do I deal with whatever it is that wears me out, saps my energy, weighs me down so that just getting through today’s must do list seems to be impossible?
1. Plan for those days: I have a section in my homeschool notebook with excerpts from some of Cindy’s e-zines, encouraging and uplifting thoughts from various forwarded e-mails, a long list of ways to de-stress, highlighted for the ones that work best for me, I also have a basket of cards I have received over the years from friends and family; encouragement, birthday, mother’s day, etc., filled with thoughts, prayers, and giggles.
2. Remember: It is for freedom that God has set us free. I thank God that I live in a country where I am free to parent my children according to my understanding of God’s plan for families. I remind myself to be grateful that I live in a state with so few restrictions on homeschooling; I will NOT let myself get stuck in someone else’s idea of what the perfect homeschool year, curriculum, day, or lesson is for my son. (Not even your ideas, Cindy,) God can, has, and will continue to tell me what is right for me and my house. We commit to serve him, obey his guidance when we get it, and then listen. Since he already knows if I’m commtted to doing what he says, I might not be able to hear him if he knows I’m going to do it my own way anyway.
3. Do something. On great days, it seems that we can accomplish great things. But on any day, we can do something, maybe not as much, not as fast, not as beautiful, but something. A sentence instead of a paragraph, and maybe the handwriting is more wobbly, but it’s something. Maybe a page instead of a chapter, but it’s something. Maybe do 4 math problems. It’s not 10 or 20, but it’s not nothing either.
The laundry around my house really gets me down. Sometimes I just can’t tackle it. But I’ve learned that even if I can’t do it all, I can do just one load. Maybe it’s dishes: wash, dry, and put away one pot. There! Something is done. Now you can go do something else. Easy.
That’s a start. I have to go now and do something. LIke that one load of laundry.
Beth
I don’t have any advice for you. I am in the same position.
I keep calling out to God for his help and I can’t feel him or see him. I keeping calling out Why have you forgotten me?!
My storm is different from yours.
I have been female health issues for more than 3 months. My Drs want to do some very scary procedures.
My marriage is in trouble again. Nothing new there. My husband was out of work about 18 months ago for a full year. He took the job he has now because it was the only work there was and he hates it. He is stressed out because of that, and now my issues too.
My skills as a mother stink. I can’t even teach my kids basic manners or common sense.
As a homeschooling mom am even worse. I am so worn down and weak as soon as I have made dinner (early in the morning) I can’t do anything anymore. The kids spend all day talking rather than doing school. I am 3 months behind on grading which I’m sure isn’t that much. I haven’t even looked at what they have done in 3 months.
I have tried the praise/worship music. It only gives me a headache. I’m sorry but its the truth. I have Bible verses posted around the house. I can’t seem to remember them if I’m not looking right at them. Rest, I rest almost all day, I truly can’t do anything else. I try to remember that it is a storm and will pass, but its really hard.
I will be praying for you.
Pray, Perspective and Perseverance
I pray first. This helps me get my mind off whatever is going on and on God who is all sufficient. I then focus on keeping God’s perspective in mind. How does He see it? How big of a deal is this really? It may seem huge to me, but God can handle anything. Then I persevere…keep on keeping on…keep going one more step at a time.
God wants me to trust His for tomorrow and not to worry about today. …so even if everything seems to be going wrong, I need to remember He allowed today to happen and He can hold me through it.
In His Abounding Grace,
Jeniver
I may be repeating what others have said, but here’s what works for me. First of all, I don’t like a lot of “praise and worship music.” However, music does help me a LOT. I play something in the background, like Handel’s Messiah, or Pachelbel’s Canon. I also like Tennessee Ernie Ford’s Favorite Hymns. There are some others, too, I can’t think of them right now.
Another thing that I do on “downtime” when I really have to relax, but because of stress I find it hard to, is to escape into a GOOD Christian Romance. Many from Bethany House publisher are good. I like Lori Wick, Beverly Lewis, Tracie Peterson and others.
I curl up with hot chocolate and my book and escape to another time and another place. This is considerably easier because I am blessed with a very considerate husband who takes care of the rest of the house so that I can do this for awhile.
For homeschooling, I have done a few things that help me when things get really tough. I use a few systems to help me get things done. Honestly, though, I use the systems as more of a crutch when things get hard. I don’t use them as often when things are going better. – One of the systems is a series of magazine boxes that we go through and I put the different things in there that I want the kids to do and they can work through what they can on their own and only come to me when they need something. I got my idea from workbox groups on yahoo, but I have modified it so much it doesn’t look like it did originally. – Another system is not planning. I write in the teacher planner NO PLANS, just what is accomplished. That way I can’t be behind 🙂 I know it may sound like cheating, but it really eases up my guilt.
The biggest one, for us, is to relax. Listen to audio books or watch GOOD OLD MOVIES and discuss them as if they were books. Foreshadowing, character development, suspense, etc. Some good ones are based on books – Shane, To Kill a Mockingbird, Anne of Green Gables, etc. (A librarian could give you some more ideas)
Take some time and make a list of things your kids could do for fun that would be educational also. If you have older kids, have them run some science experiments. If you don’t have older kids, do you know any? Could you check with other homeschoolers in your area? Teens can be a big help. Maybe if someone you know has a teen that likes kids they could help out some.
Elizabeth Bowen
” There are times in every life when we feel hurt or alone…. But I believe that these times when we feel lost and all around us seems to be falling apart are really bridges of growth. We struggle and try to recapture the security of what was, but almost in spite of ourselves we emerge on the other side with a new awareness, a new strength. It is almost as though we must go through the pain and the struggle in order to grow and reach new heights.”
Sue Mitchell
PS – I am sorry I didn’t write down where I got this from. I have learned my lesson on that now 🙂
Thanks Nancy
Whenever I am struggling with life’s overwhelming moments I either turn on praise music, as many have said, or I just start singing the phrase ‘not by might, not by power, but by My spirit, says the Lord’ from an old Twila Paris song. It helps me calm down and, more importantly, reminds me that He is in control. It’s often easier said than done though! But after our fourth was born, this attidtude and musical mantra really helped me through many a fitful day.
Laura White
I stop right where I am and take a look around. The chaos can swallow me up pretty fast! My first step is usually the hardest.
1. Acknowledge that I am not in control of what is happening.
2. Allow myself time to crumble before my Father. (there is nothing like confessing my mess and cleaning up with a few tears.)
3. Then, watch my Amazing Father pick up my tattered chaos and put it back in the order He wants it in.
(Letting the Son shine in.)
Nope, it doesn’t happen very fast. Once I realize that I’ve tried to take control; I must stop. I involve all six of my children in the process of stopping to pray when we are overwhelmed by the slightest thing. We have learned to turn toward each other for support and to lift each other up with promises that our Father has given us. Sometimes, those closest to us can pray with better understanding. After that? Well, there is nothing like a group hug and starting our “family song.”
Rejoice in the Lord Always.
Huggles
meadowlark
pss. Huggles stands for hugs and snuggles 🙂