I have a question that I am really needing for you to answer. How much help from the mother is OK? I enjoy teaching my children. I don’t want to cheat. I want for them to be able to learn on their own. It just seems like right now I am having to help so much. Am I doing something wrong? What do you think?
Thanks in advance!
PS~I love your new look on your websites. It is SO YOU!
Hey Sweet Friend!
It has been WAY TOO LONG since I heard from you! I have missed you! I can only imagine that your little ones are growing like weeds! 🙂
Sophie, I was SO where you are! First, I want to send you a great big hug across the miles. Sweet friend, you are doing a beautiful job. I know that we have “chatted” a bunch online through the years. I know you are doing a super job! So, here is my big, big cyber-hug. 🙂
My dear friend, this is an area that I believe school has hindered us from being mothers. I know that you hear me say all the time that education is more than academics, it is getting back to God’s design for the godly home. A mother naturally teaches. A mother, left to follow her heart, naturally takes a slower pace and dialogues, explains, answers those ZILLION questions that the children ask. A mom is a super teacher.
Now, contrasting this with SCHOOL, things in SCHOOL get a bit artificial. The vision that I get is that kids are given a BIT of help, but left to fend for themselves. I think that is why so many QUIT asking the questions that would feed their spirits, souls, and minds. I believe that this is why so many children just learn to get by–past the test and move on. Then, you see what the results are–so many adults are trained to get by and settle for so much less than God designed for their lives.
I am not pounding on public education. But, education today is not close to how God designed for children to learn and grow. It squelches individuality. It destroys the natural love that children (and adults) have for information and ideas. Just look at the difference between our founding fathers and the typical high school graduate today. Well, just look at the difference between our grandparents and the typical graduate today. 🙁
Education in our day is just not the same as when our grandparents were little. I am not blaming the teachers at all. There is just too much strain on the teachers to jump through the bureacratical hoops for them to truly have the freedom and time that is needed teach the child like a mother can. The children are lost in the mix. This affects all of us–even the way that you are feeling pressured to teach.
Mamaw used to tell me about her precious school teacher when she was a little girl. She said that every day she looked forward to her “cuddly” teacher pulling her up into her lap to hold her as she practiced her reading aloud…learned a new math concept…or answered questions for her tests. Her teachers had TIME to teach one-on-one. WE DO TOO! (HALLELUJAH!)
How much help is ok? ALL YOU HAVE! (Did you KNOW I would tell you that? 🙂 :))
Beloved, you can give all you have! Your children will only be greater! I used to feel “guilty” when Matthew was learning to read. For one thing, I know that you are from the South, so your children have that same Southern draawwwwllllll. I jokingly say that ANY mother who teaches a Southern child phonics, deserves an extra crown in heaven because she is going to be there for a WHILE for each sweet, little lesson! She HAS to develop patience and endurance. Priceless!
Matthew would get tired soon into reading, but I began to notice that IF I ALSO READ a portion of the material, it would give him a rest so he could come back during his turn fresh and ready to read with more expression and understanding. Oh, did I feel like I was somehow cheating…somehow doing it for him…not teaching correctly! UNTIL, I thought back to my education…our teachers let the WHOLE class take turns reading aloud each day. I read LESS ALOUD as I was learning to read than my homeschooled child did while taking turns with me.
Now, as you know, Matthew is now 21, grown and gone out into the world. Does he have effects from our one-to-one time? YES! He does. Everything we do has an effect on them for their entire lives!
He loves reading…he reads expressively and well…he chooses to read in his time off. Other guys he works with make other choices for their free time–umm…party, drink, etc. I want to see my children make wise choices. Today, I can rest while living 12 hours away because I KNOW he makes good choices. He is like his mom–he LOVES reading and learning!
AND, best of all, we have sweet, sweet memories that come from those precious years learning together, reading together, talking things out, and digging into learning as a family. I would do it all again and again!
Enjoy your little ones. They have a blessing that I wish all children had–a mommy who can teach them all along the way. BE A MOM. Don’t feel ashamed that you are able to take time with them through this season of their lives. It is OK to help them all along the way.
Sophie, these days are flying by. Days are on the horizon when Josiah will be learning on his own. He will not be where he is today very long. Sure, let him work on his own for his copywork and his math lessons, but take this precious time today to sit and enjoy these sweet reading lessons. It won’t be long and he will be off and running. You will be SO glad you had this blessing!
Hey! AND…stay in touch! I miss you like crazy!
With much love,