Wondering what Mommy Homework is???
Each week you will have an “assignment” here to share in our comments here on this site. You will love this-both sharing AND enjoying answers by others. Some of them, I compile into an ebook (contributors can resell as a product of their own–be sure to submit your email and full name when you register so I can credit you appropriately!).
The result is AWESOME! 
We get to know each other…we are encouraged in our journey…and we glean super ideas from other great moms!
Ready for this week’s MH? This is going to be a FUN topic!
This week, I am excited to kick off the NEW YEAR with one of my most favorite online retreats ever. Our topic is REACH YOUR RESOLUTIONS. You will not want to miss this! Learn more here: Reach Your Resolutions Online Retreat.
Since resolutions, goals, and dreams are on my mind, I thought that a great topic for us this week is to dig deep and find our obstacles for reaching our resolutions. Each of us are called and equipped to reach for ALL that God intended for us. Of course, there are obstacles all along the way. In fact, the enemy LOVES to throw out obstacles because he cannot stand the thought of us reaching for our life purpose and living out all that our Heavenly Father has in store for us.
This year, I want to challenge you to not only SET doable resolutions, but I want to challenge and help you to REACH for those resolutions. First things first–let’s get a good look at what holds you back. And, let’s talk about it HERE. Wondering why I want for us to discuss it? Well, many of the things that hold us back can be “blind-spots” but we can help one another to see them for what they really are. Your obstacle is probably shared by many others. You are definitely NOT ALONE! Soooo, let’s dig in deep, take the masks off, and get real with one another during our Mommy Homework time this week. Jump in and share….
What is holding YOU back?
What keeps you from reaching your resolutions, goals, and dreams?
What keeps you stuck?
Just jump in and share today! OH! And, don’t forget to come back and enjoy all of the other posts this week! I think this is going to be GOOD!
Cindy
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Wow this is a biggie! There is several things that hold me back from those goals I would really like to accomplish.
1. Handicapped son that seems to be growing worse.
2. Family not behind me.
3. Scared that I will upset my husband and family if I push to hard.
4. Worn down, tired….
5. Put my wants and wishes aside for what others want.
6. Not enough time in the day.
I know these sound like poor excuses but they are real here. I seem to get so far and then finally give up.
Looking forward to January 5th. Maybe I can get some new up and go!!
Orilla Crider
Oh wow… should have worn my closed toed shoes 🙂
I’m lazy. That’s probably the biggest.
I’m scared of failing, and when I experience a set back, I often give up. Dr. Kevin Leman calls people like me “discouraged perfectionists”. I was *thrilled* to learn there were others and we had a name!
And God totally convicted me before Christmas that I really have bought the lie that I can never change, that I don’t trust Him to do what I cannot do. And that, ladies, breaks my heart. I’m missing my Abba’s best.
I *do* know that God is seriously doing some HUGE things in our family this year; I can already tell and Hope is springing up in my heart, in our home, in our church family. And that Hope — that ONLY Jesus can bring — reminds me that He will give that and strength in my broken places!
So….there. That was hard, but in a good way. Thanks, Cindy!
I think laziness would be a big one for me; but there’s also (sometimes) a fear associated with it. Sometimes it’s a fear of failure, but other times it’s a fear of success.
Like Orilla said, it’s difficult to put my needs/wants above those around me. I feel selfish; yet my laziness is also a symptom of selfishness. So I guess they’re all kinda intertwined! Heather
I have to swallow hard. I was supposed to write the book about ‘B’s ‘ journey with cancer, his life and his death- how to deal with grief etc. It is not done. I have procrastinated. It is not grief that stopped me but reading FB and too much internet time has stood in the way. About 30 mins a day writing will get me started.
My relationship with my husband and oldest son needs a revolution.
My quiet time needs to be a constant first thing and not as and when I feel like it. I pray more than read the Word.
Putting my priorities in order keeps me from succeeding.
Not having a daily routine or one for those days when Dad is home messes us all up.
I have started using a binder (BIAB) this year for household tasks and appointments already! Yeah! 🙂
I need to get focus off of what I need (which is RNR) on my own, suck it up and forward focus!
Procrastination is my main issue……
Julie K
waltjuliek@sbcglobal.net
Oh, my, Cindy, you have hit a hot topic with me too!
#1 problem is laziness! Although, I must give myself a little break as being tired and worn out is part of that. There are those hormone issues I never can seem to get straight, that extra weight I can’t seem to lose, the exercise program that I have started several times…..
#2 Always putting things off because we know we are about to move or about to do this or that. Being in limbo is a frequent problem over the years. Sometimes I realize we are not living our lives completely because of waiting around for some event to happen.
#3 would probably be fear, which relates to #2. We don’t proceed with a business we love because fear of the economy and we would like to move first. We don’t do other things because of worries, such as knowing we are trying to find a place to move to, so we can’t start this project or that activity because we may have to stop midway and not finish it, etc.
We have all just discussed some of these very issues over the holidays and my children, husband and I want to do things differently. We want to live our lives and do whatever we want to do without worrying so much about what might happen. There are so many things we want to do or have wanted to do for YEARS and have put off for one reason or another. My children are growing up fast and time doesn’t stand still while we make up our minds or start really living our lives.
Eva
I can come up with dozens of answers. I’m just not sure which one would be the “real” one. God has been showing me that almost every “reason” I have is rooted in one thing, fear. Fear of failing, fear of not getting it right, fear of being wrong, just fear. I’m find that I’m selfish and lazy because I’m not brave enough to be a normal, flawed individual. Trying to hide my faults and shortcomings only seems to intensify them. May God have mercy on my family as they live with me learning how to strip off the many masks I have so carefully crafted and walk in God’s love that drives out ALL fear. Answering this question straight out is the first step towards realness God can work through in this new year. I’m not hiding this flawed, imperfect self behind a good girl’s mask. Yea!!! Praise God for real!
I am new here and trying to change the way I teach this year.
What is holding YOU back? Oh my dear, FEAR of failing and not getting done what needs to get done!
What keeps you from reaching your resolutions, goals, and dreams? FEAR
What keeps you stuck? FEAR
Yikes I can see that I need to give this to the Lord and free myself of FEAR!
Jessie Martinez
A big issue I have with not reaching my goals is that I begin the year or a shorter term with a list of goals broken down into actual tasks. I have tried assigning 4 things a month so I can work on one per week. However, just about every month I find that I have so many new things to work on that some of the planned tasks never get done. I am always pushing things back further and further. I have the items prioritized, so the most important tasks get done first, but there are many things that are still important like I want to get done eventually, saw within a few months and they are frequently being pushed back on the list until 6 or mo months down the road. I could sure use a better method or more hours in the day!
I am really looking forward to hearing your speak on this topic!
thanks,
Eva
I tend to get stopped by details. I like to make a list of to do’s to get to my goal, but if I get to a item that I don’t know how to complete, it stops me. If it seems to hard or not possible right now, I just stop. Sometimes I think I lose interest. And sometimes I don’t really want what I think I want. For years I’ve said I want to loose weight and I’ll start and stop diets, start and stop exercise classes. Just yesterday I found my self saying I need to lose some weight as I was eating cake my son made. My head thinks of goals that the rest of me just doesn’t want to keep.
Elaine
Wow, Ok I had to really think about this. The honest hard truth is that I am a perfectionist, I push myself past my limits especially since I’ve had a chronic illness because it takes longer now to do the same amount of work and you can’t be very productive when you’re exhausted. The biggest thing that holds me back is negativity. I do get a lot accomplished but it’s not a blessing when I’m grumbling and complaining. It would probably be better to do much less with a happier heart. I think I now have a few extra things to add to my New Year’s resolution. 🙂
Tricia Soderstrom
Getting distracted by “good” things seems to be a biggie for me. But I also wonder if it comes down to not actually setting my goals in the first place. Because I haven’t recognised looking after and teaching my child with Down Syndrome and his siblings as a goal, or keeping the house tidy, or making sure my husband has ironed shirts, I don’t feel that I have accomlished a lot at the end of the week. If I recognised and purposed to do these things as my priorities, then maybe I would have more of a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day/week/year etc. Maybe then I would have less of a feeling that these things are the things getting in the way of what my real goals should be? Something to ponder over the next little while. Ruth
Oh Orilla, I feel your pain. For me it is a handicapped husband that is able to do so little, so everything is left up to me. Fortunately the kids are getting older and are able to do more to help me.
But I also have health problems. Today I had a migraine and it finally started getting better around 3:30 this afternoon. Those happen 10-15 days a month. There are other health issues that just slow me down so much, so I feel like I lose half or more of the hours in each day to just feeling horrible and so it takes me so much longer to do simple tasks. I feel like most of the time I am just trying to catch up and survive so I never find the time to actually get to goals and dreams.
To be honest, personal goals and dreams have been totally put aside. It just depresses me to make them b/c I never can get to those. Most of the goals now are related to kids and homeschooling and trying making my husbands life easier, but it is even hard to tackle those things.
It just is depressing to even write this! UGH!!!
Julie K Reply:
January 3rd, 2012 at 12:48 pm
Hi Sherri, Keep up the good work. I remember meeting you once with Barry in Indy! Walt is my husband’s name. He went to E 91st! Maybe you can get in touch with us! We are at the same tel nbr and addres Barry used to call on before!
Julie K
I think my problem is being overwhelmed and burning the candle at both ends.
I also have a special needs child that is getting harder to handle. He’s 13.
I have 6 other children ranging from 25 to 4.
I work 40 + works a week
My husband and children won’t help me do the housework.
I have a few health problems and I am just plain wore out.
This is a start and I could probably list more but these are the biggies.
I want to start the year right. Jackie
Honestly this past year I’ve made a lot of progress on some of my goals, such as having an organized, effective homeschool day with my kindergartener and keeping my house cleaner and more organized. I’m not perfect in either of these areas, but there is definate progress, which is encouraging and educational for me.
What I’ve noticed, especially in the area of the house, is that a lot of times I need to just be consistent and build up routines. I can be easily distracted when there’s a lot going on around me, and my very active, talkative, extroverted 5 year old creates a lot going on all day! I found that I was going into the kitchen, starting to unload the dishwasher, getting distracted by something, leaving the task, then picking up a few toys, getting distracted, then getting out some papers to plan for school…and so on and so on until the end of the day there would be starts of things all over the house, even making new piles, but not much completed.
Now I try to do things in a habitual way, such as always unloading and reloading the dishwasher while my oatmeal cooks and my daughter eats breakfast. I need to be more conistant in being firm and telling my little one “Mommy can’t do that for you until I finish what I’m doing”, or having her do more for herself, rather than stopping my task every time she asks for help.I got in the habit of dropping what I was doing to tend to her needs when she was a baby, but now we’re both working on having her learn to wait or be more independant.
I also need to give myself permission to take a break or do something for my own rejuvination from time to time. I feel quilty just sitting and reading, scrapbooking, knitting, etc. when I know that there are things left undone, but I need to come to grips with the fact that I will NEVER be totally caught up with everything. When I finally do get so drained that I take a break it does wonders for me, but it happens so seldom and then I find myself easily irritated and doing things that are really busy work just because I need to feel like I’m accomplishing something but I’m too worn out to do anything significant.
The thing that holds me back is life. Life is too overwhelming most of the time. My dad is sick, I’ve been battling health problem brought on by stress and I keep waiting for things to get better. I don’t see much to look forward to. It’s a horrible feeling to know that the best years of my life have passed. I honestly feel like I am drowning and breathing is just a waste of time. I am going down a steep, slippery slope and somedays I really don’t care. I know the devil himself is thrilled with how life makes me feel. I hope he notices how fast it makes me run to the Lord. He is my only refuge and hope. At this stage of my life spiritual survival is my only goal.
It shouldn’t make me feel better that we all are in the boat together, should it? (((Hugs))) & prayers for all. I have multiple health problems and problems with my son; at least I can type on the laptop in bed ;o)
I have always been a procrastinator; I was the girl doing the term paper that I had all week to do on Sunday night. I am getting better, but I still have a way to go. I learned that part of the fear in procrastination is perfectionism, not the anal, OCD type, but the feeling that if it isn’t ‘done yet’ it can’t be expected to be perfect. You can tinker forever. Trying to embrace Cindy’s idea that 70 or 80% is okay (that goes back to my mother; she is the kind of woman that if I got a 94 on a test – an A – she would say “why didn’t you get 100?”); makes me a good editor, but a not so good anything else.
Besides fear of failing/disappointing, is also a little fear of success – what happens when all the things that have been my excuses are gone? I am working on this too. Someone needs and wants what I have to teach – just got to keep pressing on till I reach them. Feeling like I’m talking to the air is hard though. And paying to keep all of the web things going till I find them is hard since I am in the hole and I’m robbing from our already limited income to keep it going. Pressing on.
What is holding you back? Over the years I have come to realize there are sometimes things that should hold you back. Obstacles are sometimes things not to be “gotten over or around” but learned through, this often takes time, more time than we’d like! So without writing a book here, basically I have learned that there are seasons and God sometimes slows us down (seems mostly because we’re not as ready as we think) and even sometimes says, “no” not the task I want for you. Usually there is some other less glorious task that is really what we should be doing and learning from.
I have acheived some big goals and significant things, some the right way and some where I had to give up a lot of important things to get there. You could argue if it was “right”, but I won’t do it again. Right now I work on things when I can, keep lists of ideas for the future and am content where God has me.
When my kids are grown and my husbands illness is under control I’ll have the time. So if you look at it as obstacles they would be intentially training my children and managing my hubands medical issues as well as working to supplement our income but I chose to look at these as God’s plan and plan to be patient for the other desires God has placed on my heart.
My obstacles are:
1. Fibromyalgia – I never know when a bad day is coming, so it is hard to make plans and goals that are realistic. And assorted other physical problems that they say aren’t fibromyalgia, but they can’t seem to solve
2. I put my things on hold for others to come first – whether it is saving up for something that could help me reach a goal or acting on a goal.
3. Unsure of the path that will to the end result I want – How many different diets, exercise programs, etc. are there?!?! Which way is cheaper – store bought or homemade bread/ which phone company/ etc. etc.?
4. Feeling like I’m not making progress toward my goals makes me feel like I’m slogging through the swamp and I’ll never reach the other side.
5. Feeling like I’m in a catch-22 with my weight/ exercise/ pain: I would hurt less if I could lose weight, Exercise would hurt less if I weighed less. I hurt, so exercise REALLY hurts and I don’t do it, therefore I don’t lose weight……..
Elizabeth Bowen
Hi, I think my biggest problem with reaching my goals is that I get distracted with all the other things that must be done then. Some examples include laundry, picking up, dishes, bedtime and naptime, meals, etc. I know we all have those, but I think by the time I finish all these, I just have to start over. I am not good at delegating or asking for help and then everything is a mess because I can do it all. I need to figure out a way to get my precious children to do their part – willingly, to get their school work done and have fun at the same time.
I also have fibromyalgia and am recovering from surgery. These two things cause me to have other restrictions and then I really feel as though I will never catch up, much less work on those things that I have found I need to imporve on.
Thanks Cindy for all your encouragement in your products, events and website. I will get there… Lord Willing.
Jeniver
Hello!
What holds me back, keeps me stuck? Fear of succeeding and pulling my family into a time sucker or a selfish pursuit holds me back. If I try and fail, I have wasted time, but if I try and succeed, my husband may not approve of the time it takes to continue succeeding. I usually am emotionally involved by then, so a huge conflict within me (and often with the hubby, because I am unable to control my mouth!) results, and I am in a quagmire of hurt/confusion/frustration. I am sooo not into quagmires! Ok, so another reason I am stuck is because I overthink all the reasons I won’t be able to accomplish something with 6 children and homeschool, and I don’t want to do something that could be hard or emotional, I don’t want to get hurt again.
Mera McLean
What holds me back? :
1. ME!!! (frustrated quickly, easily distracted from my goals, and unbelief in the fullness & power of Jesus)
2. LIFE!!! (which leads back to #1.)
I do have a “partial plan” that I keep adding to yearly (it’s a work-in-progress that I’m trying to figure out). Maybe I’m a “late bloomer” like Moses? lol. sigh… Seriously, my lack of trust in God’s plan and my impatience is probably the biggest obstacle. When I get all emotional, I’m frozen & unable to function.
Life’s full and I’m a one-thing-at-a-time-gal, with a full plate like everyone else. So, it’s ok that my goals are taking longer than I’d like. I am making progress and learning to persevere toward the goal. At this stage of life (for me), it seems most important that I PERSEVERE, FOCUS on JESUS (abiding in Him), and TRUST that my Abba will help me develop the daily habits I need. He’ll produce the fruit… and it probably won’t look at all like what I’ve imagined. lol. It’ll be better! Cause He’s able to do immeasurably MORE than I can imagine or ask!
Great question, Cindy. Thank you… I’m convicted… and encouraged!
Wow! Is it bad to say that I am glad that others have some of the same things that hold them back as I do.
Put others first. Fear of failure. Lack of time. Perfectonism. Life.
Every time that I feel like I get caught up on the day to day of life and will have some time to get to some of those things on my list of goals/projects something happens that requires my attention and the day to day backs up. My husband got a new job in the beginning of September in Baltimore, MD. My girls and I are living in our house in Lynchburg, VA 4 1/2 hours away. I am basically single parenting right now since he only gets to come home every other weekend. I know that some of this will get better once our house sells and we can move to Baltimore. My hats off to all you single parents.
I need to learn to do things in small chunks. I don’t start projects because I do not have a large stretch of time to do it. I hate mess and clutter and so I do not like to have a project sitting out all over while I work on it a little at a time. Yep, know that is an area I need to work on.
If I do try something and it does not go just right I easily get discouraged and quit.
Last year I made a list because of listening to gearing up to reach your goals. I need to go back and look at that list.
Heather WIlson
WOW!!! This is a good one!!
For me, I would say my #1 obstacle is LAZZYNESS!!!!
Sometimes I start my resolutions and then I don’t finish. Sometimes is lazzyness, lack of interest and sometimes is lack of time. New years come and i’m all excited with new plans and resolutions, but come february, the excitement is gone. Feel like there’s so many things to do, with so little time!!!!
I think that’s my second obstacle: TIME!!! Sometimes I feel like I don’t have time to do all the things I want or need to do!!! Sometimes I wish the day had 48 hrs. instead of 24!! 🙁
Thanks,
Luisa
I’ve been really thinking about this very thing lately; what it comes down to is the fact that pride and the pursuit of perfection are what keep me from reaching my goals and resolutions. Perfection is a grueling master who is never satisfied. The inability to get and keep things “perfect” leaves me feeling hopeless and helpless, and spinning my wheels.
When I looked back at my life this past decade, I realized that my body has gone through 2 c-sections, a hysterectomy, and a tonsillectomy; our marriage and family have endured through 2 of my husband’s year-long military deployments (both while he was still struggling with the issue of porn) and a long adoption process. There was no hope of perfection through any of that!
I’m beginning to see that pursuing perfection is not where my focus needs to be, but rather simple, whole-hearted obedience to my Father who made me. Simply walking in obedience leaves me with room to breathe, a much lighter burden, and a well-lit path to follow.
This has been pretty heavy on my heart for awhile. In fact, I started before January one looking at what was holding me back from reaching my goals, my dreams. Going back over some past audios, and looking at how I deal with situations God has shown that I have alot of bitterness, and forgiveness to deal with. I need to get to a point where I am letting go of what has happened with my family, and in my life from the past.
I am coming to the realization that I need to take my offenses both the ones I have caused and the ones that have been done to me and leave them at the cross. I need to let go of the bitterness and the unforgiveness that has been building and growing in me for years. How can God guide me, and how can I hear God is all I am doing is hiding behind my own bitterness? He can’t, and I can’t.
So for my New Year I need to let go of the past, lay down the present, and grasp on to the future I have in Christ.
That’s a loaded question!! Right off the top of my head I would say that I am holding me back. I’m fearful, doubtful, hurting, mistrusting, and just downright broken. I need to spend some time in Jesus’ arms, letting him heal the wounds, and just letting myself love Him and be loved by Him. This is something I have to do deliberately, on purpose. This is the first and only step I feel capable of making at the moment…
I want to thank everyone so much for sharing! I always thought I was the only one who struggled with laziness! It seemed like every book I read or seminar I went to was telling women not to feel guilty or learn to say no. They never seemed to apply to me! So I’ve realized that if I want my children to be diligent, I must model that for them! We unhooked our converter box last year and that has been such a help, so I don’t sit in front of the TV!
My second area is not having a plan and not setting goals. I have been gathering ideas and putting my binder together. I am writing out personal goals, including a reading list!
Thanks and Blessings!
Danielle Hull
WOW!
What holds me back?!
Well I think what holds me back the most is wanting to see my children and husband succeed. Even if that means my wishes,dreams& needs get put on the backburner or may never even happen.
I think alot of times we are all guilty of thinking of our families first,I know I am.
So probably guilt holds me back alot.
Not really wanting to do anything for myself because I feel to guilty.
Resolutions, goals, and dreams all good things but sometimes just do not seem to work as planed.
I do not really make resolutions any more because I know I will never keep them a whole year. I do have goals and dreams. As a rule I tend to do short term goals, with making list, that I can cross off, therefore telling myself I have finished the task. I do have a couple of goals that one day I would love to be great in. They are writing and painting. But before I can really get to them I keep telling myself I have to finish all these projects I have started and not finished.
My problem in getting things done, is I get sidetracked easily. I had been sick for over a year and was not able to get anything done. Then the doctor found out my problem and now I am going full stream, but I feel there are so many things that I got behind on during that time, that now I am busy, busy getting all the projects and other things here done before I can really take time to write and paint. I feel like I need to get all the other things done be fore I can reward myself with doing the things I really want to do. Don’t get me wrong I have been enjoying the things I have been doing, like making a lot of candle/crafts for gifts at Christmas and now making quilts for my grandchildren to get all this material out of the house. In other words I am trying to get rid of all the things in this place I do not need. I could just take it all out the door and say goodbye to it but somehow it just seems I need to make it into something for someone before it goes.
I guess when it comes down to it I need to find the balance and divide my list of goals into projects, writing, painting, and everyday needs, finding the balance, then I will be heading for my dreams.
I have found I have more energy, get up and go also IF I stay away from to many crabs, sugar, less caffeine and get lots of water each day. If I can walk 20 minutes to 1/2 hour each day that really helps also, but that area is my big problem.
I have the head knowledge of the problems and what to do but to do it is another story. 1st needs to be Christ at the center of my life, then ask Him for His leading of what He wants, not what I think needs to be done. It needs to be daily leading and following Him and not getting sidetracked to others things. I believe all the things I do can be good but if its not Christ’s leading then I am going no where fast.
So I guess its back to the drawing board, so to speak. Ask myself where do I really want to go? Reset my GOALS and DREAMS.
Thanks Cindy for helping me get back on track.
Nancy Lewis