Trusting has Become Difficult…

Dear Cindy,

I don’t know if you will receive this message or not, but I wanted to tell you that I understand, and I am praying for you. Many of us have been through the same feelings, though for different reasons. I hope that you will be comforted and keep on going for Jesus sake.

To give you a little glimpse into why I say this, let me elaborate briefly for your sake… The past 2 yrs have been rocky, for us. Our marriage was nearly destroyed and due to many things happening to our family and within our family. Trust was broken and that spurned a lot of other feelings.

The worse came to us in March, after years of struggle with other sorrows and being alone,  that blow was the proverbial straw, for me. It is only in the last month or two that I have realized that my heart hasn’t been in much I have done since then, especially, but for a long time before that. The loneliness of isolation, grief over multiple miscarriages and infertility, hardship from outside our family, and with extended family members, broken friendships that came out of left field… all this heartbreak, most of which I buried the worst pain of, has now resurfaced and I am not sure how long it will take, if it will ever, heal. My heart that is.

Usually I am a very open person, as you can tell, but I have found myself shutting people out, or keeping to myself, and being lonesome because of it. Trusting outside people has become very difficult. This is the result of trusted people betraying confidences and judging situations and circumstances that they know NOTHING about, except for brief visits now and then.

I’ll spare you more details and all…trust me…LOL…fancy me saying that…you, my dear, are not the only one facing these trials and hurts…and it will take time to recooperate fully.

Feel free to write if you need to talk.

In Christian Love,
Terry

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FROM CINDY…
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Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

You have just made my day. I just sent an email to all of my lists updating everyone—I didn’t want to leave everyone hanging and worried. Some knew I would be ok, but I know others are intensely worried and needing to know that I am keeping on. 🙂 I am! Help me though! Ha!

I have no words fit to describe how much this note means to me. It just affirmed that the enemy was lying to me as he told me to just shut my mouth and get over it. YOU need to know that it is NOT YOU. It is not the faces or names you see. It is THE ENEMY.

Do you know what? I am writing you first because you blessed me. But, that would be selfish. You are hurting. Sweet friend, I am hitting send because I want for you to know my commitment to NEVER LEAVE YOU BEHIND. I feel that this is what I have done—just getting by in life myself. I am DONE with that. I will really BE THERE cheering you on, catching your back, taking some blows for you. That is my heart’s desire. And, I will not let the enemy distract me from that call. My ultimate call is to help set the captives free. My son’s motto in the military is “free the oppressed.” And, I am going to make that MY PERSONAL MOTTO.

What does that mean? Sweet friend, the enemy wants to stop you right in your tracks. All of the STUFF is there to stop us. Yet, the greatest gift a friend can give is to come alongside of us, pick up the sword when we are tired and weary, unshackle the things that are binding us, and take us out into freedom!

I am there. Don’t do this alone. I know I have limits because I am human, but watch over the next few months. We are taking a turn with our ministry that I pray brings you REAL HELP! Real personal help.

And…you are not alone today. Write me. Dialogue with me on my blog. Download some of the podcasts that I am about to load up. I am also working on some security measures to get Talk-a-Latte back safe (you can see the email that I just sent to find details—and I will share more later).  Just never let the enemy cut you off from others. He knows that the only way he can defeat us is within—he wants us isolated and beat down so we don’t know who we are, who we can trust,  and so we just quit. Your Papa is calling you to get back up and get in the game. I will be on your team!

I LOVE YOU!

Love,
Cindy