Last night a battle went on. Yep! Right here in my little head. It went something like this….
“I really do need to go hit the gym.”
“Oh, it is SO COLD outside.”
“My back has hurt all day–I really need to get in at least a mile so it will feel better tomorrow. I can do it!”
“OH NO! I forgot my workout pants in AL. All I have is my workout CROP PANTS…and, it is COLDER now!”
“OVERCOME! If I want to live the life of my dreams, it starts today! I WILL NOT let myself down again! YES! I CAN DO THIS!”
“It is so snuggly here with the dogs under comfy quilts.”
“DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT EACH DAY! I am so excited to take this mountain down–I AM going to make this THE YEAR that I conquer this in my life.”
“Maybe I should just EASE into this…maybe I should just pop in the exercise DVD and stay in the house tonight!”
“You KNOW better! Get in that gym and make yourself proud!”
“Oh! I am at LEAST going to work through this DVD….but, I don’t need to do ALL of it because I don’t want to be too sore tomorrow during the workout at church.”
“Now, I am soooo tired…should I or should I not just skip the gym????”
THAT is where the battle heated up. I almost went down. I almost failed myself–AGAIN. I almost pushed myself aside and let my flesh win again. Then, I watched this….
(You MUST watch this…and, don’t let your dirty little mind keep you from it because of its title. It is NOT what you think!”
Yep! I hit the gym immediately! 🙂
I have been failing myself. Relate?
It is NOT ok to push aside my goals, resolutions, and dreams just to stay inside of my comfort zone! I know that THIS THING is going to take me FORCING myself to do it. I just have too many excuses that rise up every time that a choice is to be made. And, this scenario above is only ONE CHOICE.
I faced almost the exact “conversation” in my mind when I woke up and needed to get moving with my day–do I skip breakfast or eat….do I eat healthy or is it ok to just “cheat” one time? I faced it when I actually opted to “work” instead of getting outside in the sunshine to run (which I LOVE, by the way!). I faced it when I turned on my computer and immediately began working on my email back-log instead of reaching for another resolution–to write FIRST each day! I faced it again at lunch as we made the decision of what to eat and whether it needed to be healthy or just QUICK. REALLY! The list goes on and on of these crazy battles in my head ALL DAY LONG!
Here is the problem that I saw for the first time yesterday–I am failing myself! I have the power to succeed or fail. I have the power to get what I want or let myself down. I have the power to make myself proud or to whittle away at my goals, resolutions and dreams. I DO!
No one else is doing this to me. No one is demanding this of me. No other situation in life is boxing me in. My life is not leaving me with no other options.
It is ME!
It IS me!
IT IS ME!
I am the one who so casually succumbs to my OWN pressure to stay in my comfort zone. I am the one who backs up and says, “It’s OK” when I am really NOT OK with where that leaves me. I am the one who is a big fat liar when I say “I am fine.” Oh! This nails me!
If I want to reach for my goals, resolutions, and dreams, it is going to take A LOT of hard work! I am going to have to get out of my head and get back into LIFE–ALL OF IT! I am going to have to crucify my feelings and kooky ideas that only leave me only disappointed, guilty, frustrated, empty, and even further behind. I am going to press past that resistance and get OUT of my comfort zone. I know that as I breakthrough THIS THING, my LIFE is on the other side! My full, abundant, lavish, overflowing LIFE! To stay here, I only die away with those dreams that I kill myself.
- I just ate my oatmeal AND milk. 🙂
- I am finishing the first glass of water and about to go get my second glass.
- I am wrapping up THIS blog post–that I LOVE and cannot believe I almost missed this because of my “default” of yesterday!
- I am getting ready to go take some time with my sweetheart AND eat a healthy lunch!
- And…my workout at church is non-negotiable.
- THIS WILL get easier. All of the other things that I needed to bring into my life did after I got them INTO my life and lifestyle. I just need to stop failing myself by putting it off, thinking it is for SOMEONE ELSE, and making excuses.
Today, I WILL make myself proud. NO failing myself!!
I have no idea what your goals, resolutions, or dreams are, but can I get REAL personal and ask you–are you failing yourself? Is there something that you need to FORCE yourself to do today? Today is the day to take action. Do it. It feels SO good! Don’t let yourself down. Only YOU can get what you want. DO IT! 🙂
Jen in Oz says
I have just had this issue in the last few days as I have tried to act on my new year’s resolutions. The thing that has helped me is my “word for the year” choice. I chose Act, with the most interesting definition I found being the parts below.
A state of reality or real existence as opposed to a possibility or possible existence
To carry into effect a determination of the will
Every time I wanted to get back in my comfort zone I would say Act to myself and I would remember the above definitions. I so want this to be a year of change. And I need to keep acting on my goals, I need to be determined, to create a state of reality with my goals instead of leaving them in my head as only a possibility.
You go girl, go ahead, act on your goals! You have had great success in things I would only dream of. I am sure you can achieve your health goals too.
Jen in Oz
Cindy Rushton Reply:
January 5th, 2012 at 7:21 am
Oh! Jen, I LOVE THIS!
ACT is a super focus for the New Year! You are right–if we leave it all floating around in our head for SOME DAY instead of making it a part of TODAY, THIS WEEK, THIS MONTH, THIS YEAR, we just fail ourselves.
I think that this is one reason that we need to really look at our year, evaluate, and dare to dream for the New Year. Unless we do, we get stuck in mediocrity and possibility, and we miss grasping on to all of the amazing gifts that God has stored up in our New Year.
We all have something that needs to be BEAT! Something that we need to DEFEAT! There is always an area of breakthrough, at least on the horizon, because God wants us moving uplevel! This thing is going DOWN for me this year. If I can beat so many other things, this is only a matter of focus, commitment, and good old-fashioned hard work. Let’s do it together! 🙂
This is great and so needed! I knew this…I needed to hear it! Thank you!
Cindy Rushton Reply:
January 5th, 2012 at 7:22 am
I am sooo glad! Let’s make ourselves proud!
I just finished my oatmeal and I am almost finished with that first glass of water. Yesterday was a day of success and today is on the way. I LOVE that feeling! 🙂
Let’s do it together! 🙂
Jen in Oz says
How are you doing Cindy? I hope you are well. I don’t catch up on FB much but wanted to know if you have been going better on working towards your goals.
My word for the year Act, has been doing great things for me. I am hardly sitting down at all. lol I think I may need to be a little kinder to myself though and remember that I don’t have to get it all done now. I am a bit impatient I guess.
Still working through my lists one day at a time,
Jen in Oz